Welcome to How to Love Your Body we are Lauren and Jenna your UnDieting coaches. On this podcast you will get weekly coaching that is straightforward and actually useable on your journey to food and body freedom.
Today we are going to be talking about willpower, what it really is, why you think you don’t have enough of it and why it's all complete BS!
There is a worksheet that goes with today’s episode that you can find at thebodylovesociety.com/73.
This worksheet will help you work along with the episode so instead of just listening and nodding your head you can actually begin implementing some change in your mindset and your life.
So what is willpower really?
The most accurate definition we found was this: control of one's impulses and actions; determination; self-control.
So what kind of things do we use willpower (self control, controlling our impulses) for?
What dont we use it for?
We use willpower when:
We refrain from yelling at our children
We are kind to our partners when they forgot to pick up the milk AGAIN
When we focus at work instead of watching youtube videos which is what we actually want to do
When we say no to that cookie even thought we really really want it
When we dont get out of our car and chase after that fool that just cut you off
When we dont tell our friend to quit her complaining already and just leave him…
Modern society takes A LOT of self control to function well in…
So when you use all that willpower up on your diet? Guess what happens….
There’s none left for life.
This is why we get snappy, more irritable and lash out more easily when we are restricting food, not only are we hangry but we have no willpower left in our reserves.
Because willpower is a depleting thing… not like a muscle where the more you use it, the stronger it gets.
So -- do we want to be using all of our willpower (which inevitably runs out and leads to binge eating/ overdoing it on the weekends) or do we want to live a smooth and happy life overall and let the food take care of itself?
If willpower is a part of the way you eat… it CANNOT last a lifetime. It’s physically impossible.
So what do we do instead?
We drop the use of willpower all together.
So just eat everything and feel horrible and let myself go? Just give up??
It’s just taking a completely different approach that will lead you to the wellness without the obsession that you’ve been looking for all along.
When you go through the entire Undieting process (more on the specifics of this coming in the next few episodes) - you find that you have an ebb and flow, a flexibility with food, you never had before.
No willpower needed. But there are choices to be made.
Once you’ve done the mindset work, and truly are embodying intuitive eating and the undiet way of living you just make the best choice for you in the present moment.
Does right now that cookie sound amazing and your body is on board with it? Awesome enjoy!
Are you stuffed from dinner and those stale cookies are staring at you from the counter? Well…you can choose to eat them or not, no right or wrong but maybe a stale, mediocre cookie when youre super full from dinner won’t feel too great.
It’s about having the tools and the mindset to be able to make choices in the moment that serve you well and leave you feeling empowered and NEVER restricted.
Since willpower is never used here, it never runs out. You can actually maintain this way of life for the rest of your life.
So how can you start letting go of the concept of willpower around food?
- Recognize that you’ve always had “enough” willpower and forgive yourself for past (what you might see as) shortcomings.
In your worksheet you can dive more into this (writing it down will help you create this change a lot more effectively than just listening to this will)….
Identify some past instances where you beat yourself up for not having enough willpower and rewrite the story -- ACTUALLY it makes complete sense that every weekend after restricting myself and using up all my willpower I let it all go on the weekend.
- Figure out what you need to begin working on/ implementing in order to let go of willpower around food.
What are the reasons you feel you need to have “self control” or control your impulses when it comes to food? What do you feel will happen if you let go of this ?
Some examples might be: Everytime I have even 1 cookie I end up eating a whole row, or if I let myself eat pizza I would order it every night… get those worst case scenarios down on paper…
Now what would need to happen for these things to stop.
Likely things such as : allow all food so food is just food and it doesnt have so much power over me...
Repair my relationship with my body so I don’t feel like Im always inadequate and constantly need to be on the hunt for weight loss…
Stop seeing food as good or bad.. I dont feel like I would go out of control with salad, so whats that all about?
These arent things you can snap your fingers and have but they will give you personal insight into what needs work so you can move forward in a productive direction. This is all about self awareness - which without, we cant move anywhere!
- Decide 1 step you’re going to make to more forward with this.
If you feel body image is the #1 thing you want to work on so you don’t have to be using willpower around food so much, decide 1 action step you can take to get closer to at least a neutral relationship with your body. Does that mean thanking it every morning for something it does instead of the way it looks?
If you want to begin allowing all food choose 1 food you are going to begin allowing yourself to eat unconditionally, yes this may result in eating quite a bit of that food at first but it won’t be that way forever.
If you are sick of the baby steps, you can always have a peek at The UnDiet Academy where we lead you down the complete path to being an UnDieter - body mind and soul :)
You can get more info at www.thebodylovesociety.com/undiet and if you add yourself to the waitlist you’ll be the first to get information when we open the doors in late October/ Early November, exact dates will be sent out soon to those on the list.
Simply enter your email at www.thebodylovesociety.com/undiet to get that info!
Send us a DM on Instagram @thebodylovesociety and tell us your stories about willpower and what you will work on to move way from having to use it with food!
You can absolutely get back in the drivers seat and have an effortless and joyful relationship with food and your body - no more restrictions, limitations and willpower needed :)
See you next week and dont forget to grab your willpower worksheet at www.thebodylovesociety.com/73
Love, Lauren and Jenna