November 5, 2019

Ep 079 - Expecting too much from weight loss

This week on How to Love Your Body we are talking about weight loss and the expectations we have from it.

 

Before we begin we are THRILLED to share with you a free masterclass we are hosting Tuesday November 12th at 5:30 pm pacific and Thursday November 14th at 5:30 pm pacific called “ The 3 Ingredients you need to become an intuitive eater and find wellness without the obsession (even if you still want to lose weight),” you can grab your free spot at bit.ly/undietmasterclass for which ever time is most convenient. 

 

We will be sharing:

 

 

  • The 3 ingredients you must combine in order to find the balance in this work. 
  • We will be going over what they are and how to begin implementing them into your life.
  • At the end of the masterclass we will also be sharing more details about The UnDiet Academy at the end of the class (PLUS some bonuses for those who come on live).

 

You can grab your spot at bit.ly/undietmasterclass

Now let’s dive into today’s episode:

The reason we have these high expectations of weight loss is that the world is CONSTANTLY telling us that if we lose weight life will be better, we will be more loved, we will belong, we will be healthier, have more energy, live longer and be content….. So yeah, we want a lot to happen when we lose weight, how could we not?

 

This past week in our public Facebook group called Intuitive Eating and Body Love support, we posted a question and asked “Do you have a few sentences you can share about losing weight and it wasn't all you thought it would be?”, so we could get some insights for this episode.

 

We expected to get a couple responses but we didn’t, we received, 86 women’s stories about their experience after losing weight and it really solidified the truth that we are expecting too much from weight loss.

 

The reason this is a problem is BECAUSE we are expecting it to be life changing, we are sacrificing WAY too much to try to make it happen.

 

 

  • Physical and mental health
  • Social lives
  • Getting stuck in the cycle
  • Causes ourselves so much anguish and pain when we are constantly falling off the wagon.

 

 

We’d like to share a few people’s stories with you before we get any further into today’s topic…

 

  • No matter how much I lost, no matter how much smaller I got...it was NEVER enough.

 

(And 4 people responded “me too”.)

 

 

  • I thought things would be ok, that I would feel great and satisfied when I got to my goal weight. When I got there, at that weight I wondered what it would feel like to lose 5 more. Would that bring me the joy and satisfaction? I realized there was just no end point.

 

 

 

  • The joy of weight loss was like a high that I quickly came down from. Then I wanted MORE. There was always something to fix and I ended up feeling horrible in the end.

 

 

 

  • Losing weight was never over. It always had to be more so no part of me enjoyed it. As it continued I became more isolated, depressed and obsessed.

 

 

 

  • I lost weight and life was the exact same. Literally nothing changed besides the number on the scale. I still had all the same problems and struggles.

 

 

And there are over 80 more comments with almost this exact same sentiment.

 

We work so hard towards something where the finish line is always moving AND if we do get there it doesn’t feel much different than when we started.

 

So why do we kill ourselves to lose weight? Many of us have spent 10-30 or 40 years in the diet cycle, often just losing and gaining the same pounds…

 

If you’ve been on the hunt for weight loss most of your life, we’d like you to ask yourself some of these questions.

 

And to get the questions and actually work them out, you can get your worksheet at thebodylovesociety.com/79

 

What will be different PHYSICALLY if you lost the weight you want to lose?

Here’s an example: I had this thought once when I was sitting at home having a bad body image moment. I asked myself, what would ACTUALLY be different right now if I was thinner….. My baby would still be crying, my husband would still be looking at his phone and my house would still be a mess… my LIFE would truly be exactly the same.

 

You might be thinking - but I have physical pain or a physical illness or ailment that really would be better with weight loss… you can write down what you think would be different and we’ll talk more about that in a minute. 

 

BUT WE DO WANT TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU - this was posted by my friend Andrea Hardy who is an anti diet dietitian “ Research shows that positive health behavior, can reduce mortality risk to the point where there is NO difference between those in smaller or larger bodies. 

 

Meaning - you can take a lot of action to improve pain, illness etc without it being about weight.

 

 But let’s move forward. 

What will be different emotionally?

How will you feel about yourself and about your body?

Now if you’re just listening and not writing it down take a second to think of a few things for each. 

 

What would be different physically and what would be different emotionally….

Now ask yourself, is this true?

 

Can you absolutely know this is true?

 

You might have thoughts of things like, xyz medical issue will be resolved (how do you know?), I will be confident (that’s what the 85 + women thought too that commented on our post), it’s amazing how we expect so much from weight loss but in reality we don’t end up where we thought we would.

 

We really do add a lot of romanticism and fantasy to weight loss - we imagine all that it could be and THIS is the fuel that keeps us stuck in the hopeless diet cycle for so many years, wasting our time, energy and money on this mad hunt for weight loss that is not what it seems.

 

A great example of this is in a podcast we both listened to the other week called The Happiness Lab - it is about the science of happiness and how we can all be happier.

 

One episode is about lottery winners. Of course we all believe that if we won the lottery there would be a laundry list of amazing things that would happen, but in fact the majority of lottery winners say its the worst thing that ever happened to them - many people end up divorced, in bankruptcy, or worse.

 

We truly are horrible at foreshadowing what will make us happy - and it’s often not the obvious things that our society makes us think of like - losing weight, winning the lottery, getting that promotion or finally getting married.

 

These are not things we can bank on to change our lives or make us happier. 

 

“But Jenna and Lauren, I feel so crappy in my body and I am not healthy” - okay what does that have to do with pursuing weight loss?

 

What are some actions you can take THIS WEEK to feel better?

 

Are you an intuitive eater with a healthy relationship with food and exercise? 

 

Working on this will get you much further health wise (both mentally and physically) and happiness wise too.

 

In fact in The UnDiet Academy we have a whole module on how to increase happiness long term so the hunt for weight loss isn’t the only thing getting you excited about life.

 

Now grab your worksheet so you can really reflect on the questions we talked about today and let’s start realizing what weight loss is - simply a change in dress size, it will do nothing else for you other than that, ESPECIALLY when it takes over your life in order to get there (and you only stay there short term). 

 

And of course - 

 

Don’t forget to join our free masterclass we are hosting, Tuesday November 12th at 5:30 pm pacific called and Thursday November 14th at 5:30 pm pacific -  “The 3 Ingredients you need to become an intuitive eater and find wellness without the obsession (even if you still want to lose weight) , you can grab your free spot at bit.ly/undietmasterclass for whichever time is most convenient. 

 

We will be sharing:

 

 

  • The 3 ingredients who must combine in order to find the balance in this work. 
  • We will be going over what they are and how to begin implementing them into your life.
  • At the end of the masterclass we will also be sharing more details about The UnDiet Academy at the end of the class (PLUS some bonuses for those who come on live)

 

We will see you there!

Until next week, bye!

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