Hello and welcome to another episode of How to Love Your Body - this is Jenna and Lauren and today we are going to be talking about quieting your inner critic.
You can follow along with the worksheet that goes with this episode here www.thebodylovesociety.com/105
You know the mean girl inside your head that makes you believe anything they say? She is something that gets to be handled because when the thoughts inside your head are constantly telling you how bad, unworthy, and such a failure you are - it will take you a heck of a lot longer to get to a place of love and food and body freedom when you have such a negative nancy pulling you down.
So what do to with the inner critic when her head is roaring?
Acknowledge her and have compassion for her- she wants to be heard. She wants to be loved. She wants to be comforted. Even though she’s being such a mean girl - it’s the only way she knows how to communicate. It’s her cry for help - for that love and attention.
Of course you aren’t going to agree with the mean things she is saying - what you can do is understand her - and tell her that you understand that it’s hard. To have compassion for her because it’s clear that she’s suffering. Give her the acknowledgment that she’s looking for - tell her that you are there for her and you have no judgement- you can say “ thank you for sharing, but the things you are saying are not my truth.”
Just by allowing the inner critic to have a voice allows it to come up and then be placed into the background. You don’t give anymore energy to it. When they get loud, you listen to them, and let them be on their way as you hold a space of compassion and understanding.
She is a part of you but that doesn’t mean she gets to be the boss of you. You take the power back.
Here are some tangible activities you can do to quiet the inner critic.
- POST IT NOTES-
After this episode or whenever you get a chance (make it a priority) - write a stack of reminders for yourself on post it notes- Empowering messaging, loving messages, motivational messages, inspiring messages- whatever will give you that boost to remember what you deserve and who you really are.
You can say things like:
- I am beautiful
- I am a badass boss babe
- I am an amazing mom
- I can do hard things
- I am lovable
- Take a breath, be present!
- Etc… whatever feels good to you that will keep you going each day.
Post them in all the places you regularly see- places like the mirrors you always look in, your car dashboard, your work space, anywhere.
It may seem kind of silly or corny but you will see the difference when you wake up and maybe are already starting a tough day and you see all these reminders that give you the feel good boost you may need to keep that inner critic / mean girl in the background and not blaring in your ears.
Another activity you can do is - RELEASE/ REFRAME JOURNALING
Whenever the inner critic is going off and nothing seems to stop her- get out your journal and write down the story she is telling you. Get all the words out on paper. It doesn’t need to make sense or have the correct spelling - just write and write and dump the words onto paper. All the feelings all the emotions- everything. It can be in messy handwriting, it can be whatever- just go all out.
Once it’s all out and you’ve said it all - reframe the story.
Don’t re- read what you wrote - there’s no need to go back through that.
Rip up that paper and start a fresh new page.
Now, begin with writing 10 things you’re grateful for- gratitude can always shift your energy into a new state. Most likely a better feeling state-
After you dive into gratitude, get into the reframe part and write to yourself everything that you need to hear. That you are an amazing woman, that you deserve to be heard and supported by others. That your voice matters. That it doesn’t matter the size of your body but the size of your heart. That you are doing the best you can and you are exactly where you are meant to be. Tell yourself everything that you need to hear in this moment. Don’t get in your head - this is not coming from the inner critic - they had their turn- this is coming from your truth. From the part of you that knows you are worthy no matter what.
This reframe will allow you to quite that inner critic without suppressing it - shift your energy- and move forward.
One last thing you can do- Is this someone I would want to be roommates with?
When you hear the inner critic start to get loud and mean - ask yourself if this were my roommate would I tolerate this kind of behavior? Would I allow someone that I lived with to speak to me this way? Would I want to spend time with them? - most likely you would run as far away from this person and immediately evict them from your living space. And if it wasn’t immediate- I’m sure it would only be a matter of time before you’ve had enough.
If you wouldn’t want to physically live with a person like this - why would you allow something like this to live inside your head all day long? That seems like torture! It’s time to evict that inner critic - so just simply being aware of “Oh wow, that sounds really mean, would I want to live with a person like this?” That can be your signal that you don’t tolerate this kind of behavior and to take action to “evict” this voice inside your head that doesn’t serve you.
So there are a handful of tools you can use when you are starting to hear those mean voices come up - and remember that we all have those voices and it’s human. You aren’t going to quiet them completely 100% of the time - and that’s okay- the thing is - now you have tools to not let that voice run your life. You’ll have days when it’s louder and days when it’s quiet - and with the awareness and doing the work on yourself you’ll have many more days of peace and quiet!
Remember to download the worksheet to really dive into the work of quieting that inner critic at www.thebodylovesociety.com/105
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