Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are talking about a phrase that we learned from Bri Campos, a body image educator/ LPC - follow her on Instagram at @bodyimagewithbri
So what does it mean to “sit in the suck”?
Well - you may have noticed that this UnDiet work (intuitive eating, body image, body acceptance/ trust) can be hard. It is hard!
A few things that may happen when it gets hard…
- When things get hard it can be really easy for humans to do anything to get rid of the uncomfortable feelings - to turn to coping mechanisms that may feel like distractions instead of processing and healing the emotions.
- Another thing that happens - no shame or blame - but when it gets hard our brains can start to tell us this UnDiet work isn’t safe, it doesn’t work, etc and all the catastrophic feelings come flooding in - someone may consider going back on a diet because they need the control (false control that is).
- There could be a bad body image day - where you are looking in the mirror and you just feel defeated, angry, sad, etc … you aren’t thinking “I need to go on a diet again” but you dive right into trying to push the feelings away and try and reframe your thoughts - try to “just be positive.”
Shifting your mindset, reframing, and thinking differently is liberating AND here’s why you may feel like it never is getting easier no matter how much reframing you do …
You aren’t acknowledging the “suck.” --- You quickly either go to “this IE/ UnDieting doesn’t work, might as well diet”....Find yourself in a spiral of catastrophic thoughts that ruin your entire day and berate yourself for everything or on the other end --- you avoid the hard feelings, say “it’s fine” - push it away and don’t think about it - you say something positive and it’s done. But it doesn’t ever feel very good.
When it feels so hard - there is so much power in sitting in the suck. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to force yourself to reframe your thoughts (just yet), you don’t have to be anything or do anything, expect anything from yourself other than allowing yourself to acknowledge that this work is hard - to validate all these feelings you are having and just be okay with sitting with these hard feelings. You don’t need to push them away or pretend like it’s all good - you don’t need to cover it up with mindless scrolling on Instagram etc...
It’s about sitting in it, feeling it, and just saying gosh this is hard, this isn’t fair, I hate this, I hate these feelings, and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel it all without having an agenda to dive into “fixing” it.
The next time you are feeling one of these really hard moments - allow it. Take a moment to be still and breathe.
Here are somethings you can say to yourself:
-This is so hard. And it’s okay that it’s hard. There is nothing I need to do or fix.
-This work is hard, these feelings are hard. And that’s okay.
-I’m so uncomfortable with these feelings. And that’s okay.
-I have no idea what’s going to happen. I feel scared. And that’s okay.
-I’m anxious when I feel like I don’t have control. And that’s okay.
-I feel X (insert anything you resonate with). And that’s okay.
Say anything that allows you to feel like it’s okay to feel what you are feeling without an action you need to take to fix it.
YES. It’s so important to also process feelings, take action, and heal/ transform - and that is very much a part of this work.
And don’t skip over “sitting in the suck” - it’s part of the process, it’s part of the healing, it’s part of the transformation.
Reminder, there is no timeline and you get to choose if you want to do any of this - you choose your process. Who says you HAVE to heal and be free around food and your body? You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to -
You have the power in how you take on The UnDiet. You can feel empowered to sit in the suck, and feel empowered to move out of the suck and onto the processing, healing, and transformation - it’s messy work and it’s beautiful work and however you do the work is perfect and normal because everyone is different and has their own process.
We commend you for your courage to take on UnDieting - we know it’s not easy but we can absolutely say it’s worth it… we love sharing all the tips, tools, and mindset shifts and felt it was so important to also share the message that sometimes sitting in the suck is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Before we go we’d like to share a free resource with you - it’s a 5 day Weight Gain WTF Video Series that helps you start to break down the fears you have around weight gain and how to move forward without this fear holding you back - you can get it at bit.ly/weightgainwtf -
If it’s that time to sit in the suck - do that first and save this video series for when you feel ready to process!
Until next week!