September 29, 2020

Ep 126 - How WE practice Wellness without the Obsession

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are going to be talking about how we practice wellness without the focus on weight/ how we practice wellness without the obsession. We share a lot on this topic because it’s the core foundation of our coaching and we thought it would be helpful to share specific examples in our lives - this is how we naturally live now - so we wanted to give some ideas to you or help you get a better understanding of what this wellness without the focus on weight could look like.

A key pillar of having wellness without the obsession is separating weight and wellness, a great way to start doing this is to grab our free 33 page workbook called Separating Weight and Wellness. You can get this at

The main point of this is that your health does not = your weight. 

A little content warning:  we do want to share that this episode is more focused on wellness - you may be in a place to hear this or you may find yourself not ready - either way it’s okay!

So here we go, here’s a mini look into how WE practice WWTO regarding food and movement: this isn't all that WWTO is but its an area we know many people are curious about:


The focus: Prioritizing feeling good for all things - Prioritizing feeling good after eating, as much as I prioritize allowing all food. 

Of course all food is allowed and it’s a priority but also - I want to feel good in my body so I make that just as an important priority. 


EXAMPLE: Ordered Chinese food and asked myself why it feels easy to stop when I feel satisfied when it never did before. I don't equate food with weight and I truly value enjoying food. That means BOTH eating what I want and feeling good while and after eating it - it is much less enjoyable if I eat too much.

The way to do this without feeling restriction is truly allowing all food, getting rid of the weight focus and valuing pleasure as a part of wellness!

Not the focus: Never eating the Chinese because of the weight. 

The focus: According to what is happening in my life - that’s how I choose to move my body or not move. Choosing from a place of what I enjoy. Typically take a walk every morning with my daughters in the stroller. Great for mental health to get outside and enjoy the sun/ fresh air (unless there is too much smoke/ too hot). Feels good in my body. I also have a peloton - definitely a quarantine purchase. It’s great to use when I feel like it - anywhere from 10-30 min depending on how I feel. If it’s too hot or any other reason I skip it until I feel like it.

Not the focus: Choosing exercise that I think will make me lose weight. Doing a workout because I want to lose weight, not because I actually like doing it. Using movement as a punishment or trying to undo eating a “cheat meal.”

The focus: If I’m actually hungry I eat  “real” food as in even if chocolate sounds good I’ll eat food and then have chocolate. - Just a bunch of chocolate to fill me up never feels good - this allows me to still eat the chocolate and feel good. And of course I’m choosing “real” food that I want to eat that satisfies me.

Not the focus: Wanting chocolate and saying no I can’t have it and try to distract myself with something else that I don’t want to eat.

The focus: Choosing to eat nutritious food that I actually enjoy (if you hate kale don’t ever eat kale, maybe you love spinach?) AND making it actually taste good (satisfaction!). Ex. Roasting veggies in the oven with olive oil (enough of it!) and seasoning. Adding “all the things” to your salads - yes, like cheese, nuts, seeds, dried fruit, avocado, full fat dressing etc etc) - Adding butters and sauces -  spice it up! Whatever you enjoy - adding some cheese to your broccoli doesn’t reduce the amount of nutrition. It only adds satisfaction, pleasure, and enjoyment (if that’s what you enjoy)

Not the focus: Eating as bland as possible to avoid extra calories and fat to try and control/ shift your body size.

The focus: Everything I do is never a rule it’s just what I have discovered works for me and everyone will be different

Not the focus: Eating a certain way because some diet told me too or because the person next to me is eating a certain way. 


The focus: Eating some type of dessert/ sweet every single night because that’s what I really enjoy. Allowing it every night actually allows me to tune in to how I’m feeling and eat accordingly. Most of the time a chunk off my chocolate bar is just perfect. Or another night it may mean a mini ice cream bar I so much enjoy. Of course there are times the amount fluctuates but I’ve found a place that really works with me and dessert - every night is what works for me, my mental state, and my body because it feels good and so pleasurable! Eating the amount I eat has nothing to do with trying to control my weight. Last night ex. Noticed I was getting full at dinner - ate the rest anyway which is fine but then that shifted what I ate for a sweet after. I was feeling like the ice cream bar but felt too full and knew it wouldn’t feel good so I opted for a piece of chocolate and I knew I could have the ice cream bar the next day if I wanted. Why is this wellness? Because it prevents me from bingeing. Allowing the food I once obsessed over was the only way to get rid of bingeing for good.

Not the focus: Restricting dessert when you really want it and bingeing on the weekends. Sometime I did for 10 years. I loved sweets so so so much but I would never allow myself to have any - I would eat until I felt sick because I needed to get as much as I could get in because it was my only chance. Restricting dessert meant focusing on the weight.

Gluten free / touching on allergies - doing it for wellness/ health not because cutting out gluten will also help me lose weight.

Not the focus: Using GF as an excuse to cut out foods and lose weight

The focus: It’s not a rule, not even something I tell myself I must do but I Drink water throughout the day without measuring or forcing myself to hit a certain amount. I have a water bottle I like to fill and just drink When I’m thirsty. Just something I have next to me-  I drink water, it feels good - and I also know if I feel like having something other than water it’s okay. Like coffee - my favorite. I’ll drink more of it just because I love it but I also know drinking it all day long won’t feel good.

Not the focus: Drinking water to fill up/ avoid eating/ curb hunger/ forcing water because “its healthy” and I need to drink x ounces. Not allowing coffee because of the creamer / or drinking coffee in a way I don’t enjoy to reduce the calories.

The focus: I do weights with a body positive program. 

Not the focus: Working out to lose weight - body will do what it’s going to do.

The focus: Power in the pause. When I'm eating I just take a moment to pause and check in with how I’m feeling. It’s not to try and eat less, it's to take an inventory of how I'm feeling, where my hunger is at. It’s a quick pause - not drawn out. Nor do I force the pause - it’s second nature now. I can feel the pause, drop into my body and do a little scan and see where I’m at. Keep going? Another few bites? Finished?

Not the focus: Trying my hardest to eat the least amount by pausing because my main goal in life is to lose weight. 


WWTO is not just about our physical health - it’s also about our mental and emotional health. In this episode we are focusing more on sharing how we practice wellness without focusing on weight - but we did want to touch on that self care, de-stressing, mindset work/ personal development, therapy, meditation, sleep/ rest, breathing, getting child care etc is so so important -- and these are things we absolutely practice in our lives as well to have overall wellness without the obsession. 

Today’s episode is all about WWTO which is SO MUCH MORE than what we shared today but we know many people are curious about how you can focus on physical wellness/ positive health behaviors without it being diety. We are opening a new WWTO Group Program mid October which will dive into all 8 areas of WWTO including much deeper work than what we talked about today.

You can learn more about WWTO in a free live training we will be offering October 14th - keep your eyes open for that. For now, grab your Separating Weight and Wellness Workbook at Working through separating these things is a vital first step in finding wellness without the obsession. 

See you next week! 

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