Welcome to this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body.
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Today we are talking about a very common fear and that is keeping food in the house (anything “bad” of course).
Why do we fear this?
Because we feel out of control around food, like we cant be trusted around it, we just think about it until we give in, say screw it, eat it all, and then promise we won't buy it again.
Is this food addiction? Is this a lack of willpower? How come other people can keep chips in their pantry and ice cream in their freezer and it’s not gone in a day? They can just eat it in a normal way? There must be something wrong with me, I’ll just have to control myself forever, I’m just different and that’s the way it is.
This is not food addiction, has nothing to do with willpower and you aren’t different - you’re just restricting.
Dieting, trying to be “healthy” or good, eating in moderation, being sensible, WW, or Keto, whatever you call it - not allowing all food and listening to your body is considered restriction.
NOTE: Some people ask, I’m eating the food, why isn’t it getting better? - mental allowing is key too, having a healthy relationship with food is also needed! If you feel bad for eating the food or are stuck in retaliation of dieting, there are still some steps to take to get to freedom.
All this is being said so that you KNOW it can be different, you aren’t different or weird or just lack will power and you are NOT addicted to food, yes even you :).
Diet culture teaches us that we need to control MORE that it’s our fault if we’re weird with food - but it isn’t and that just makes it worse - making you more likely to run back to another diet next week - the diet industry is brilliant. It causes a problem and then sells the solution, over and over and over until we die.
Well we’ve seen the truth - ALLOWING food and repairing your relationship with food and your body is the key to being normal with food and be that person who can have the chips in the pantry and the ice cream in the freezer and eat them like any other food - enjoying it when you want and not worrying about it when you don’t.
Here are 3 steps to take to move towards being comfortable having any foods in your house with ease and enjoyment:
Like Jenna always says - she could live in a grocery store and would eat the same.
Step 1: Know, understand and believe that you aren’t weird with food, these fears and food obsessions have nothing to do with you as a person, you’re just another cog in the diet culture machine! Know and believe that allowing food and ditching diet culture, and repairing your relationship with food and your body will heal this. 100%, yes even you.
In order to move forward with confidence you need to know that this is possible, or when it takes a bit of time and experimentation, it makes it really easy to say SEE ITS ME! I’m just like this.
Step 2: Start slowly allowing all foods - this is a step that you may already be doing, if not start introducing a few things you’ve been wanting to eat. Such as bread, real salad dressing cheese, chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, etc.
If you ARE physically allowing food, start assessing your beliefs around the food/ your relationship with these foods - do you feel like you really SHOULDN’T be eating this food? Not eating this much of it? Really SHOULDN’T be having dessert every night? This is still going to feel restrictive and the effects of allowing won’t be in full effect. Work on identifying shoulds and start questioning them! What if I do want dessert every night for the rest of my life? What if that lets me live a life that is less about food and my body and more about living? Does trying to restrict dessert work? What do I end up doing when I don’t let myself enjoy the things I want (binge eating, food preoccupation etc)
Step 3: Start listening to your body when eating these wonderful foods. We ignore our bodies when we go into “Screw it i’m going to eat it all” mode so we just polish off what's there and feel like crap after!
One way to do this is to buy a lot of the item that you obsess over when it's in the house. So much that you couldn't possibly eat in one sitting (if you can afford it, this is a privileged approach). This way there isn’t the option to just eat it all and get it out of the house, you’ll have to rely on your body signals to decide when you’re done.
Why does it matter if we keep food in the house?
It helps solidify the idea that food is just food and is abundant (and not scarce like it feels in dieting -- this is different from true food scarcity which is another issue).
When you can have dessert at home anytime you want, that dinner out just becomes another meal, you might order dessert, you might not, but it's just food. You can enjoy life experiences, really BE with people and have fun without it all being about the food and deciding if you’re going to be “good” or go wild tonight!
NO MORE! Just eat the food you want and carry on.
Just a reminder that this is possible for every single person. It takes time and some energy to rewire your thinking and habits but you can do this!
If you want support in this we’d love to invite you into our Riding Out 2020: Intuitive Eating and Body Image Membership
This is a powerful group that includes weekly live coaching sessions, worksheets, daily prompts and room to ask questions in the group and get daily coaching.
We cover 10 vital topics in this work including diet mentality, body acceptance, fear of weight gain, intuitive eating and more.
Doors close Saturday October 31st at 9 pm pacific.
You can learn more about this membership at thebodylovesociety.com/membership
This is a one time event so if this speaks to you now is a great time to join!