Welcome to How to Love Your Body - today we are talking about a concept that was created by Byron Katie - it’s all about questioning our thoughts and figuring out who we would be/ what would we feel like without the thoughts that cause us misery and suffering. This relates perfectly with our thoughts about food and our bodies.
It’s about questioning these thoughts and asking yourself if they are true. A big reason humans endure so much suffering in their thoughts is because they think things “should” be a certain way. It’s most likely because we were taught it should be this way or that the person next to you is doing something so you think to yourself that it should be this way for you too. This happens in all areas of our life - by this age I should have this and be this … I should look this way, I should eat this way, I should, should, should… it’s all a bunch of shoulding on yourself -- so how can you stop shoulding on yourself?
Let’s dive into a few common thoughts that may hold you back from truly being able to live your life as an Intuitive Eating and UnDieter.
1.Who would you be without the thought ...I need to lose weight?
Is the answer peace/Freedom? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually “need” to lose weight - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them.
Is it true you really need to lose weight? According to who? Is it that you need to lose weight or is it the pressure from society to meet certain standards to look a certain way? “I need to lose weight” has no depth - it is an empty “requirement” - how much weight do you need to lose? How can you actually put a number on it ? A lot of our “should” thoughts are completely random and we plucked them out of the air (or picked them up from what someone said) and decided they were true.
The truth is we can’t control our bodies - we can’t decide that x amount of weight “will be the answer” - it’s not about pursuing weight loss.
It’s about listening to your body and letting it do it’s thing. It’s about living a life without rigidity and obsession. It’s about doing things that feel good to you - your body will land where it’s gonna land regardless, it will ebb and flow throughout life -
- Who would you be without the thought...I shouldn’t eat that?
Is the answer at ease with food? A person who can just eat what feels good and move on? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually shouldn’t eat that - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them.
What if “eating that” is the very thing that is actually best for you and your body? What if eating that cookie will give you pleasure, joy, and a clear mind that isn’t filled with restriction. What if allowing yourself to eat what you want gives you a sense of empowerment which turns into listening to your body and finding a natural balance? what if you naturally eat a variety of foods with all different levels of nutrients that feel good to you? Without the thought “I shouldn't eat that” you can be free and at peace to trust your body and live your life.
- Who would you be without the thought...If I gain weight I’ll be unhealthy/ or if I don’t lose weight I’ll be unhealthy?
Is the answer at peace in your body? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually will be unhealthy if you gain weight - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them.
What is healthy? What is unhealthy? Can you really be one or the other? When does one cross over and become healthy? When does one all of a sudden become unhealthy? There is not one way to define health - anyone can be on any part of the health spectrum at any size - and not one person is the same. What about the cases that you hear when someone obtains “perfect” health as in - always eats balanced/ in moderation, worksout daily, and is in a “normal” weight range - these people are not exempt from diseases or sickness. Someone living in a larger body can have great health - bloodwork is all in the normal range, heart health is on point, and no other diagnosis. So how in the world can someone say, If I gain weight I’ll be unhealthy - is that really true? There is scientific proof that this is not the truth. Anyone’s health can be anything - and we only have so much power (honestly very little in the scheme of things) over our health through our actions - yes we can participate in positive health behaviors - that’s great. And even then we can’t control the outcome.
We can let scary thoughts run our lives - control us in ways that feel suffocating - and such a healing thing to do for yourself is to learn to question these thoughts and realize - actually, THIS is the truth!
So when these thoughts start to come up - ask yourself - who would I be without this thought? If you uncover a feeling of peace/ freedom/ or any other feeling that feels good - you can automatically uncover that it’s the thoughts that are causing all this uneasiness and stress. Not the actual thing you’re worrying about.
Thoughts are powerful and so are we - so it’s important to not believe every single thing we think and hear - and since thoughts are so powerful - shifting your thoughts to something that feels better will allow you to live a life that feels manageable, more enjoyable, and with less suffering.
All this is easier said than done - but it can be done!
Practice and see what comes from it. :)
Reminder that you can get our Separating Weight and Wellness workbook. - get it here. bit.ly/wwworkbook