Hi I'm Jenna Free and this is Lauren McAulay, we are intuitive eating counsellors here to help you heal your relationship with food and your body.

Welcome to this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body.

Today we are talking about weight neutrality and body neutrality, what is it, when is it useful and how can you use it to start feeling better about your body?

The weight-neutral approach acknowledges that body weight is determined by a complex set of genetic, metabolic, physiological, cultural, social, and behavioral determinants, many of which individuals cannot change. Instead of focusing on a weight-oriented outcome, participants in weight-neutral programs are taught to take charge of the factors they can, such as thoughts and behaviors, which ultimately lead to improved well-being, regardless of weight.

 

Body neutrality is rooted in acknowledging what your body does, not how it appears. Your body allows you to exercise, travel the world and experience new cultures. Your body gives you the ability to hold hands or hug someone you love. Your body gets you from point A to point B. Body neutrality is about seeing your body as a vehicle that, when treated with care, can help you move about the world in a way that brings you joy. That’s it. No thinking about how you look, either good or bad.

Both weight neutrality and body neutrality can be so beneficial for all people, especially those struggling with body image issues.

 

Weight neutrality is a powerful way to approach healing your relationship with food and your body, it’s a way to take care of your body without it leading back down the diet culture rabbit hole.

 

With a weight neutral approach, since you aren’t seeing weight loss or weight gain as either good or bad you can then make choices that best serve your body PERIOD.

 

For instance, perhaps moving your body more regularly feels really good and that is something you are working on participating in more often (ideally in a way you enjoy and in a manner that is relaxed and flexible, not rigid and full of rules) - if you are coming from a weight neutral approach you can continue to prioritize movement without deeming it to be “working” or “not working” depending on if you’re losing or not losing weight. 

 

This outcome won’t matter - the movement itself is a win and this will lead you to being more consistent with it as well as it being sustainable long term.

 

When you are making choices regarding your health moving forward you can think “ok how would I come at this from a weight neutral approach”. This will lead you to becoming an intuitive eater and undieter much faster than if you get stuck focusing on weight.

Body neutrality is more about body image and the way you THINK about your body.

This is an amazing mindset to come at body image from particularly if you are not at all in the place where you feel you are happy about the way your body looks (that’s ok! Because the way you look is the least interesting thing about you).

When you are getting sucked into negative thoughts about the way your body looks, remind yourself to bring things back to neutral. The way you look isn’t either good or bad, it’s honestly somewhat irrelevant. Shift to thoughts of what your body can do, it’s function and purpose.

This will allow you to intertwine some gratitude and perspective when it comes to body image without forcing yourself to think something that you just cannot get behind (fake it til you make it doesn’t always work here).

As you continue on your journey to becoming an undieter remind yourself of these two mindset shifts:

When I’m making “health” choices are they weight neutral?

When I’m thinking about my body, is it body neutral?

Let us know if these shifts make a difference for you! You can DM us on instagram @thebodylovesociety! We always love to hear from you.

And if you liked today’s episode please share it with a friend, that makes a huge difference in getting this message out there!

See you next week!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body--  on todays episode we are talking about 5 quick but powerful facts on body image… 

Healing your relationship with food is of course an essential part to becoming an UnDieter...

So is working through body image.

Here are 5 facts about body image:

1. You don't have to love your body 100% of the time as an UnDieter - but you can absolutely respect it.

2. It's okay if you still care about what you look like (we're human in a society obsessed over looks!). That doesn't mean you can't improve your body image.

3. It's okay to start with neutrality. A powerful exercise when starting to work on body image is not putting pressure on yourself to shift every negative body image thought to a positive thought. We are not about toxic positivity. What you can do is start to shift judgmental thoughts to neutral thoughts.

​Ex. "I don't like the way my arms look in this shirt" to "I have arms."

4. Our bodies go through phases and circumstances of life. It's normal that bodies change over time. Accepting the ebb and flow will bring peace.

5. It takes repetition and shifting beliefs to start thinking differently about our bodies. It's acknowledging and becoming aware of anti fat bias and working through that.

If you want to work on body image and be more at home in your body; check out our UnDiet For Life Membership.

Not only do we give you a step-by-step course in how to work through body image. We also have Live Q&A's, Guest Expert Workshops, access to posting your questions in the community on the daily, and more...to support you in improving your body image (and anything else during your process in becoming an UnDieter)!

ALSO … 

The support from this group of women and experts is invaluable.​

We have found the the most essential part to becoming an UnDieter is having a community to do it along side with you. People that understand what you are going through because they are going through it themselves.

When you can share anything and it's immediately understood. No need to explain yourself. This community gets it!

Humans love connection and they also love connecting to people with like-minded/ similar interests and beliefs (especially when it comes to ditching diet culture!!).

You don't have to feel alone for one more second as you continue on your path in becoming an UnDieter. Join the community and get instant access to amazing women you can build lifelong friendships with!

Doors close TOMORROW, July 28th!

We look forward to welcoming you to the Community!

See you next week!

Stopped dieting and it's just feeling blah?

Here is the best way to get over that just "not dieting" feeling and actually become an UnDieter and Intuitive Eater for life!

Get more info at www.thebodylovesociety.com/membership

This week's podcast episode on How to Love Your Body is a little different. When we were getting ready to record a different podcast episode for the previous week we started talking about a topic that we felt needed to be recorded on the cuff and turned into a podcast episode.

In this episode we share about how we, as Intuitive Eating Counselors, can have times when we care about how we look. We go into more detail in the episode and talk about specific examples.

The reason we wanted to bring this up is because we live in a world/ society that is built off of diet culture and beauty standards so of course you may have feelings of wanting to look a certain way. You aren't wrong for that. The thing to consider is how far are you willing to go to fit into societal standards?

If it's making you obsessed and miserable to obtain these standards, is it really worth it? At what cost?

We also get into the topic of wellness without the obsession.

Tune in to listen to the full discussion!

PS. If you have't yet signed up our free you still have time before it's too late. ALSO, we are excited to announce that our Membership will be reopening on July 19th!! Until then, watch the . :) 

Share this free course with your friends and social media followings so we can get this message (and the support) to as many people as possible.

See you next week! 

In Today’s episode we want to address UnDieting for life and what it can look like for you. The reason we want to talk about this is because UnDieting is not just another diet.

It’s something that can actually be sustainable for life. This is why this way of living is most realistic (and freeing) - there’s an ebb and flow, a balance - once you really find your groove with UnDieting it just becomes your way of life, it becomes second nature.

It’s not something you are following, it doesn’t have a set of rules. It’s just you and your body trusting, listening, and being. 

 

Before we dive in - this episode is brought to your by our free UnDiet For Life Kickstart Course that you can sign up for at www.thebodylovesociety.com/undietforlife

10 signs you’re going to be an undieter for life:

  • You live your life free and at peace with food and your body - meaning no rules shoulds, cants or have tos with food. You don’t think about it a lot, you just live!
  • Instead of focusing on weight; the focus is on how your body FEELS.

  • How you’re living is sustainable because there are no rules or restrictions. You don’t fear falling off the wagon or failing, it’s just natural.

  • Shame, guilt, failure, and judgment DO NOT exist for you around health, food or our body (yes the thoughts may pop up now and then but you’re able to be critical of these thoughts).

  • You no longer subscribe to diet culture (you don’t spend money on weight loss products etc nor do you spend time planning, thinking or researching how to lose weight/ diet etc). You have a completely different belief system and mindset around food and your body.

  • You tune in and listen to your own body signals. Not comparing your hunger levels and food choices to others.

  • You respect your body even if there are thoughts of wishing you could change your body. It's also having the awareness of internalized anti-fat bias.

  • You enjoy food without it taking over your life. You have a clear mind to think about other things that matter too.

 

  • You ride the ebb and flow of life & know you can UnDiet at all phases, under any circumstances. You don’t freak out if things change.

 

  • You have support. Undoing the damage dieting did to your thinking and relationship with food and your body is really tough to do alone, especially when everyone around you is in diet culture.

 

Remember to sign up for our free UnDiet For Life Kickstart Course at www.thebodylovesociety.com/undietforlife.

This course has 4 lessons that will be sent to you along with a workbook to follow along. It will cover how to trust your body with food choices, how to shift your focus from weight to how your body feels, how to incorporate wellness into your life without the focus on weight, and what your next steps are in order to truly make this UnDieting something that can be sustained for life.

We are here to reduce the overwhelm for you and give you a step by step roadmap to help you get there.. So if there’s only one thing for you to do right now -- it’s signing up for the free course and going from there. www.thebodylovesociety.com/undietforlife 

Share this free course with your friends and social media followings so we can get this message (and the support) to as many people as possible. 

See you next week! 

Welcome to How to Love Your Body today we have a special guest - actress, singer and activist Melanie Field.

You may recognize her from shows like You, The Alienist: Angel of Darkness and Shrill, yes Shrill and even more importantly creator of the powerful song and music video “Now I Know”, which we will play at the end of this episode so if you want to have a good cry we highly recommend you stay tuned for that.

Questions asked in this episode:

Tell us the story behind the song Now I Know, what is it about, and why did you feel the need to make it.

What has the reaction been to the song?

Do you have any insights after hearing from so many people resonating with the song?

Discuss how we were talking about the body acceptance movement, anti fat bias etc - we need EVERYONE on board to make a difference. 

WHILE also recognizing thin privilege, of COURSE but if the people with the privilege are happy how things are things won’t change.

Listen to Melanie's FULL song, "Now I know" at the end of this podcast episode. 

Find Melanie in Instagram: @melanie_field 

Talk to you next week!

On today’s episode we are talking about how long it takes to become an Intuitive Eater.

We get this question a lot which makes sense because of course we want to know specific timelines. We want to know how long things are going to take and when we can expect to achieve the goal of x. In this case - the goal is Intuitive Eating. 

Coming off of dieting and learning how to be an Intuitive Eater is amazing. To not feel restricted and confined to a diet plan is so freeing. That being said, coming off a diet and into Intuitive Eating can be scary because at first you may feel out of control with food, which is extremely normal.

There will be a swing of restriction of food as a dieter to possible “overload” with food as a new Intuitive Eater. This process must happen in our opinion because there is no such thing as being a strict dieter and then finding peace and harmony with food the second you choose to learn about Intuitive Eating. It’s going to feel messy and out of control at times, and that’s okay! 

Going through “the swing” may get wearing sometimes. You may feel like you’ve made some really great progress with Intuitive Eating and have never felt so free but there may also be days where you feel hesitant and question yourself because food may not seem as easy at times- it may feel overwhelming and there could be thoughts of wanting to throw your hands in the air and go back on a diet.

Of course that’s not what you truly want but when you have moments/ days with Intuitive Eating that don’t feel good, you may go into “fix it” mode - trying to find a way to control the situation.

This may cause you to wonder - HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO TRULY BECOME AN INTUITIVE EATER!? 

We get the frustration and the curiosity. As humans we want answers, and we want them NOW. 

So how long does it take to become an Intuitive Eater? 

Here’s the thing:

  • There is no timeline with Intuitive Eating: This may not be the answer you wanted to hear but this also is the beauty in Intuitive Eating. That it is so tailored and personalized to your own experience that you don’t have to look left or right and compare yourself to someone else in their own process of figuring out Intuitive Eating. This also gives you room to just BE.
  • That it’s not a “30 day program” and at the end of 30 days you are expected to be transformed and living a dream life - of course not. Intuitive Eating is realistic and doesn’t give any shiny false promises like dieting does. Which is why this is a self paced concept. We could never give you an EXACT timeline with Intuitive Eating. What we can share with you is that with time, doing this work, you will unlearn, re-learn, heal, and transform your relationship with food and your body. 

 

So if there is no timeline in Intuitive Eating - what are some helpful thoughts, tips, and action steps to help me keep doing this work when it feels challenging and I find myself wanting to solidify a “destination” of WHEN I’ll be a true Intuitive Eater.

 

1. Identify yourself as an Intuitive Eater NOW. No more “when I’ll finally be an Intuitive Eater.” You ARE an Intuitive Eater. You’ve stopped dieting and you are learning this new way of being - there is not one specific definition of an Intuitive Eater. You create your own definition. So the next time you have this thought of “how long will it take for me to become an Intuitive Eater” - shift that thought to - I AM AN INTUITIVE EATER! I explore, get curious, and am learning everyday. 

2. Remind yourself of the ebb and flow of Intuitive Eating. The Intuitive Eater you are today may not be the Intuitive eater you are tomorrow, next month, next year, in 10 years - or even in the next 5 minutes.

There is ALWAYS change in Intuitive Eating. You don’t just become an Intuitive Eater and stay that way for the rest of your life - it ebbs and flows with you, your life circumstances, your environment etc! 

No need to overwhelm yourself and try and do everything at once - purposely take your time - you don’t need to heal everything about food and your body image today!

The UnDiet for Life Membership opens in July - this would be an ideal step to take to become a member and get access to a program and a community who gets it but also the support you need in reducing the overwhelm and still continuing to do the work. 

 

3. Know that to be an intuitive eater you need to be in the present, so focusing on when will I get there, when will I be at my set weight etc actually takes you out of the ability to be an intuitive eater. When this question starts nagging at you, remind yourself, to this work I have to be here now and take 2 deep breaths and then go about your day. It’s all about living each day in the moment.

 

We hope this makes you feel a little more at ease as you move along on your journey. It does get easier over time and you will find your groove!

Be sure to grab our free Top 10 Pieces of Advice from Real UnDieters at thebodylovesociety.com/top10

And be on the lookout for our free UnDiet Kickstart Course coming July 5th 2021!

And if you liked this episode please share it with a friend! This is how we are going to change diet culture, one person at a time.

See you next week!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - this week’s podcast episode is a review of Reverse Dieting. One of our community members sent us a post confused about whether it was a good non diet option so we wanted to review it to let you know what we think.

Disclaimer: This episode will discuss dieting behaviors, some calorie numbers and for the love of god, do not google reverse dieting if you are trying to avoid diet culture and before and afters.

The reason we are explaining it here is because it is one of those diets that don’t look like diets, it’s something that people trying to UnDiet may look at and be convinced that it’s a safe diet alternative… Here's what we found.

Let’s start by explaining what reserve dieting is:

Reverse dieting is often described as the diet after the diet, it is slowly increasing calories after a period of restriction.

Here’s where the first diet culture red flags come in - the intention of this is often weight loss or prevention of weight gain.

And honestly when we were first sent this I had a twinge of, oh this doesn’t look too bad, maybe that could work for some people, encouraging people to eat enough is never a bad thing...

Here are 3 red flags of reverse dieting:

  • You still have to count calories for the rest of your life. It is assumed that each day your body needs to same amount of fuel. It treats your body like a machine, and we are not machines.
  • It has the same freedom language as macro counting (and the dreaded Noom) - eat whatever you want, there are no good or bad foods! AND you can only eat x calories a day. Well that is not freedom, that cannot be intuitive, it’s still a calculation where, yes you can eat a burger and fries but then you can’t eat much else for the rest of the day… 
  • The intention is weight loss, there is a weight loss focus, no one reverse diets and accepts that maybe they were repressing their weight too much and their body WANTS to be at a different size. There is no body acceptance built into this work. 

It comes across that the only issue with dieting is if you’re eating way too few calories and so if you increase your calories by a small amount, you will then solve all the problems that dieting causes.

But we know that undereating isn’t the only thing that triggers binge eating, food obsession, weight preoccupation … mental restriction, the diet mentality, focusing on weight - all these things cause negative side effects, so adding some calories in isn’t a cure all. 

The biggest selling point of reverse dieting is around metabolism, eating in this way controls your metabolism.

The entire appeal of reverse dieting is the idea that we can control our metabolisms by manipulating the way we eat in a certain way: if you eat in this way you can override your metabolism and have all the benefits of weight loss while eating more, who doesn’t want that in the fatphobic world we live in!?

These are the factors that effect metabolism:

  • Genetics
  • Gender
  • Age
  • Weight
  • Body fat percentage
  • Climate
  • Body Temperature
  • Racial variation
  • Hormones
  • Being active (ex: pro athletes and manual laborers have a slightly higher BMR)
  • Diet - yes prolonged under nutrition lowers the metabolic rate but not by a profound amount (this is a part of it but only one element of many and most of them we have no control over)

Some simple googling online shows that metabolism is not something that we can change in any profound way:

While total metabolism can change at the drop of a hat (when you exercise your metabolism is higher at that moment than if you sit down), your BMR is like a glacier, moving and changing ever so slowly. Plus it’s important to note that most of the factors that determine your BMR are not something you can intentionally change or control. Your age, gender, height, somatotype, and even genetics all account for the lion’s share of what causes your BMR to be where it is. 

Food Is a Relatively Minor Player in Maintaining BMR

Lots of diet strategy is aimed at boosting or protecting your metabolism. Most of it isn’t really going to do anything. Eating frequent small meals, never skipping meals, and eating at only certain times of the day has little, if any, effect on BMR. It’s like changing the course of that glacier with an ice pick.

Long story short, if anyone’s selling you a trick, hack or strategy to manipulate your body size, it’s a diet.

Our bodies are smarter than us , we cannot trick it, we’ve been trying for decades and here we are - working so hard to get out and just trust the bodies we have.

Your best bet moving forward is to begin to cultivate that trust, learn to work WITH your body, not against it and learn more about WHY our society is so obsessed with thinness.

Your body really is brilliant, even if it’s not the size you wish it were, even if it doesn’t look the way it should, even if you’re struggling with your health - this entire time your body has been on your side.

Imagine the power we can harness if you begin to join forces with your body instead of being on the constant hunt to fix it or change it.

Something coming up for you right now might be…

Yeah but, I have xyz pain.

Yeah but, I binge eat and it feels horrible.

Yeah but, there’s no way I should be this size.

No one said that you can’t work to feel better, to reduce pain, to repair your relationship with food or to find peace in the body you have - BUT focusing on weight loss, using calculations to trick your body into doing what you want it to do, does not work long term.

What does work?

Repairing your relationship with food

Creating trust between you and your body

Eating enough

Exiting diet culture and the diet mentality

Go to physio to get that knee feeling better - increasing strength, flexibility and moving your body (in ways you enjoy)

Doing the mindset work so you can be content NOW (even if you wish some things were different and you are working towards goals, hopefully not intentional weight loss, you can find peace in the present moment, it’s the only moment we have).

If you want to get a kick start in this work we recommend you grab our free guide “Top 10 Pieces of Advice from real UnDieters: What helped them the most and what mistakes not to make!”

You can get that at www.thebodylovesociety.com/top10

Today on How to Love Your Body we are talking to Mary Jelkovsky from Mary's Cup of Tea.

She is the author of the book The Gift of Self Love and in this episode we dive into all things body image and romantic relationships.

Whether you're single or in a relationship, doing UnDiet work can affect how we seek out or how we interact with a romantic partner.

Tune into this episode to get tips and insights into how to set boundaries with your partner and be able to UnDiet without being limited by your romantic relationships.

Mary is our guest expert in the Collective on June 30th!

To access her Self Love Workshop be sure to join the waitlist for the Collective reopening in July!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body. On today’s episode we are talking about the infamous “summer body.” Now that summer is almost here you may be seeing a lot of “summer body” promotion - the typical meaning of this comes from diet culture which basically says that the body you have right now is not okay to go into summer because it needs to be thinner in order to wear a bathing suit and summer clothes. We’d like to call BS on that which is why we want to address 4 ways to an UnDieter’s “Summer Body.” 

1. Get a new bathing suit for summer that fits the body you have today. Not only something that fits and feels comfortable but something you feel good in! All bodies have the ability to feel confident in a bathing suit - we must release the idea that bodies can only look good in bathing suits if they are a certain size. We know that maybe buying and trying on a bathing suit is not the funnest thing to do but you absolutely deserve to feel good. No more sitting on the sidelines and skipping beach trips/ pool days/ family fun on a vacation that involves a bathing suit etc… No more hiding behind cover ups. You have a “summer body” right now just by waking up in the body you have today and the season of summer rolling around. There are NO prerequisites to a summer body. So go get the bathing suit - if it’s bringing a bestie to help you go try them on with you or ordering them online and sending back the ones you don't want and keeping the one/s you do. However it works best for you, make sure you have a bathing suit that you like, feel good in, and feels comfortable! 

2. Wear clothes that suit summer - yes, there is hype about bathing suits but it’s also important to wear clothes that are suitable for summer. No need to wear sweaters and pants when really a tank/ t-shirt and some shorts are really what would feel most comfortable in warmer weather. Do you have summer clothes that you feel good and proper for the weather? Temperature is one way to choose what kind of clothes to wear - when you are hot and the sun is shining - a lot of clothing may not be something that will give your body comfort. Your body will know according to the way it feels if you are honoring it. If it’s overly sweating because it’s being covered up when it’s hot outside there will be an unconscious sense of “I can’t allow my body to feel comfortable because of my size.” This message is deeply rooted from diet culture and not the truth! Your body gets to wear tank tops/ crop tops/ shorts/ and all the things that suit summer! 

 

3. Upping your Self - Care as a priority - You may be feeling the pressure or anxieties that come along with summer approaching. Instead of forcing yourself onto a diet that doesn’t work - you can up your self-care. How to be on your way to an UnDieters Summer Body? Treat it with care - what is something you can do for your body that feels self-serving? Does your body need more rest? Does it need a massage? Does it need a lovely bath with your favorite bath salts/ candles/ followed up with a calming lotion? Do you enjoy manicuring it? Or do you need to allow yourself to not upkeep with the manicuring so rigidly? Ask yourself - “what does my body need?” And do that! 

 

4. Wellness without the Obsession - We are going to keep this one super broad because we want to give the message that you do not have to ever, ever, ever try and change your body for the sake of getting a “summer body.” You are perfect as is in the body you are in today. But we did want to lightly bring up WWTO because there is nothing wrong with moving your body in ways that feel good, that don’t feel forced. It’s also great to eat in ways that feel good. You can drink a green smoothie because it feels good and still absolutely allow the cookies and pizza too. WWTO is something that isn’t “picked up” because you need a “summer body” it’s something that is just a part of your life - feeling good in your body feels good, being aware of your health is great (and this is not the typical diet version of health, it’s your own definition - it’s caring for your mental, emotional, and physical health). Health DOES NOT come in a certain shape or size. 

This is dropping into your body and doing what feels best to you - not what the person next to you is doing. So if you have family/ friends/ or social media friends who are talking about their diets/ workout regimens to get “summer ready” - hit the ignore/ unfollow button because that is NOT a requirement for summer. It’s a societal flaw that keeps people in their own shame and in an obsessive world of dieting that is no way to live. Acceptance of all bodies and using our Intuition of how we feel in our bodies is something that allows us to just BE who we are without constantly live in a state of needing to change ourselves. Please know that you are always enough. 

Since the “summer body” promotion stuff is being advertised as summer is approaching we wanted to create something for you that can give you small action steps each day to keep you in the UnDiet mindset frame of mind so you can offset any diet content that doesn’t serve you… This is why we created an UnDiet June Calendar -- you can access it by going to http://thebodylovesociety.com/undietcalendar/

If you enjoy our podcast we’d love for you to subscribe (if you haven't yet)/ rate/ and review and one step further that would really help us get this message spread even farther is by sharing this episode with at least one person/ or to your social media. We’d greatly appreciate the help to get the UnDiet message out there! 

And remember to grab your UnDiet June Calendar at http://thebodylovesociety.com/undietcalendar/

See you next week! 

 

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