Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are talking about Intuitive Eating Essentials - we are taking it back to the basics today. You can be someone who’s been in IE for a really long time or just starting out - either way this episode will provide value in either giving you a refresh or starting you out powerfully in your IE and UnDiet process. 

This episode is brought to you by: Our 5 Day Relationship with Movement Challenge. This 5 day live challenge is to help you find ease with exercise and actually enjoy it again. You can join this live challenge at thebodylovesociety.com/movementchallenge

We are not simply just going to go over the IE principles - they are great guidelines to know so if you would like to refresh just type in “IE principles Evelyn Tribole” into Google and you’ll find them. 

So in order to be an Intuitive Eater - what are the essentials? 

  • All food is allowed and on an even playing field - ex. The apple and the apple pie are one and the same. 

This doesn’t mean the apple and the apple pie have the same nutritional value - it means they are both morally acceptable to eat when your body desires them. This goes for ANY food or food group. If we can honor our bodies when we want the fresh crisp apple because that’s what genuinely sounds good and we can honor our bodies when we desire fresh warm apple pie - THIS is Intuitive Eating without limitations, judgements, or morality tied into food. You may notice that when you allow all food at any time, while listening to your body, you aren’t craving only the apple pie all day every day. You also aren’t craving apples all day everyday, we can assume. When we truly allow our bodies to be and honor the food when we naturally desire or crave it then you’ll see that you naturally eat a variety of foods each week/ each month. There’s a natural ebb and flow to eating decadent desserts, fresh fruits, savory food, pastas and pizzas and salads and veggies and burgers and fries and all the things. Seeing all food on an even playing field will not only give you the freedom to eat what you desire but will also truly allow you to eat intuitively. 

  • There is no failing in Intuitive Eating

This is an essential part of IE because if you believe you are either succeeding or failing everyday while on your process to doing this work you will constantly feel like you are taking 2 steps forward and one step back. You may have a hard day - you may binge eat - you may emotionally eat - you may do all these things that you judge but in reality it’s not failing, it’s not wrong, and it’s not bad to do anything while being an Intuitive Eater - You aren’t taking steps backwards if you didn’t listen to your body or you feel too full - this is all part of the process! This is “normal”  - It’s essential that you know that these tough moments are your greatest areas to get curious instead of judge and learn from your experiences. These moments that feel like “failing” are actually moments you process, deal with, and transform - which catapults you on your UnDiet process. Taking the judgement out of your process will be the most important thing to remember! So the next time you think you “failed” - remind yourself of this podcast episode. You did not fail, you can’t fail in IE - it’s impossible! Only curiosity, awareness, and transformation is possible! 

  • There is no timeline with Intuitive Eating 

This is so important to remind yourself! IE is not linear. Neither is anything really - there is a constant ebb and flow to life. If you find yourself saying, “I’ve been Intuitive Eating for x amount of months or x amount of years” - catch yourself and remind yourself that there is no timeline - the main thing here is that you have ditched dieting and diet culture - You are here, you have found this new world of UnDieting - and now you just live here and continue to learn and grow. To shift beliefs and your mindset around food and your body and do the best you know how with the resources you have. You are exactly where you are meant to be in this moment and moving forward you will continue to be exactly where you are meant to be - this is why it’s called a process - the ebb and flow. The un-linear process! 

Remind yourself of these essentials daily - it will take a lot of the judgment out of this process! You’ll be able to relax in the knowing that you can’t get it wrong, you can’t fail, there’s no time limit to any of it, and whatever it is that you are eating is okay! Simplify this work as much as possible. 

And we know a part of this work isn’t just food and mindset, movement is an important element as well. This is why we are so excited about our LIVE 5 Day Relationship with Movement Challenge starting Monday May 10th.

During this challenge you will join us live for 5 quick coaching sessions on how to make exercise feel enjoyable again. This is all about mindset and the way you THINK about movement - this will really be a game changer.
And don’t worry if you can’t make it live you will be sent the replays along with the workbook so you can transform your relationship with movement whenever it’s easiest.

Join the 5 Day Relationship with Movement Challenge at www.thebodylovesociety.com/movementchallenge

See you next week!

3 roles YOU play in dismantling diet culture

Welcome to this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body

We are talking about YOUR role in dismantling diet culture.

We all wish diet culture would not be here.

We might feel like a victim of it, fair enough.

It’s inhumane, it’s unfair, it’s harmful.

 

People are working hard to dismantle it - through legislation, through education, through activism….

But do we just sit around and wait for the world to change?


That doesn’t feel very empowered.


So what can WE do to begin dismantling diet culture in small ways in real life?

 

  1. Show up as you are.

Something we see a lot of in The UnDiet Collective and in our own personal situations is a real fear of showing up and being seen in a way that goes against diet culture.

For instance today I did some instagram stories and as per usual I was walking and was holding the phone kind of low and talking, not a very nice angle.

When I look at those stories before posting them I thought, I do not like the way that looks. Initial thoughts include - if ppl see that that I haven’t seen in a while they’ll really think I’ve changed, they won’t know what I REALLY look like.

Fears of not fitting into the world that diet culture built for us while ALSO wanting to dismantle diet culture. Well that makes no sense!

The only logical move is to ALWAYS post it anyways, show up anyways.

If you want to have permission to show up as you are with no apologies you need to BE the person who shows up as they are with no apologies, no one else is going to do it. 

 

2.  Allow others to show up as they are

 

Every time you wear the bathing suit you actually want to wear (even if it makes you nervous) you give permission to others to do the same. 

This is a ripple effect that is so powerful and really important.

Imagine 100 people who listen to this podcast episode show up to see their friends post pandemic (in many places, not where I live sadly, everything has closed down again), with zero apologies, no need for an explanation or “excuse”. Just, Hi it’s great to see you!

Then everyone of those people shows 5 others that it’s ok to just show up as you are, there’s 600 people now feeling more free and so on.

You CAN make a big difference even just be showing up without apologies or “explanations”.

 

3. Share your views publicly

 

No you don’t need to preach to everyone you meet how they shouldn’t diet, that won’t be very helpful BUT you can share an insta post publicly (even if you worry that a couple friends might argue with it -- NOTE: You do not need to engage with everyone’s opinion, you can just say, that hasn’t been my experience).

Sharing UnDiet resources can plant a seed in people that turns into questioning and shifting their beliefs later on. 

For instance, share this podcast episode right now! It will help the message get farther so we can change the world one person at a time.

PS - If you also want UnDieting messaging to get farther please rate and review the podcast as this lets more people see it!

 

Thank you!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body, on today’s episode we are talking about how to address fatphobic family members.

We actually get this question a lot which makes sense because most people have been ingrained with diet culture. So once you are trying to do the work to get out of diet culture and learn Intuitive Eating and UnDieting - it may be really challenging to be around family members who are still constantly talking about either their weight / your weight , what diet they are on or commenting on the food choices you make. It’s a lot and can be really upsetting since you are working so hard on not exposing yourself to that. 

How can you address fatphobic family members? 

-Set Direct Boundaries - “Please don’t make comments about my body or my food.”

-Be so strong in knowing that IE is best for you that whatever they say is like a different language you can’t understand - If someone came up to you and was speaking a language you didn’t understand you would most likely just look a bit confused and be unable to take in what they are saying. You most likely wouldn’t feel affected because there’s no way of knowing what they are saying, you just shrug your shoulders and move on. 

- Remind yourself that you can choose who you are around and who you aren’t - If you set boundaries and they continue to comment on your food/ body- then you can choose to have them in your life or not - or at least in what capacity. Maybe you distance yourself, maybe they are cut out completely, maybe it stays as is but you develop an armor that doesn’t take you down every time they start up with the comments. 

-How do you handle family members who have a different political or religious viewpoint? This is closely the same. (Sometimes it’s just best to not talk about it - you aren’t going to convert people who don’t want to learn, let them do their thing just like you want them to let you do yours).

-Be a brick wall - You know what isn’t fun? Talking to someone about your diet who never engages with you. If you don’t feed into the conversation and always change the topic as quickly as possible people will know that you are not the person to gush about calories and how “bad” you were this weekend with.

-They are projecting their own beliefs and insecurities - Whatever they say about food/ body / weight / etc - is really just about themselves and their own fears. This does not mean you have to condone what they are saying. This does not mean you have to endure the verbal abuse. It means that you can remind yourself that this is not about you, it’s about them.

You get to protect yourself, you get to set boundaries, you get to use your voice. 

We'd really appreciate it if you would rate/ review the podcast

See you next week!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are talking about Intuitive Eating on your period or during PMS. That’s right, we are going there today.

We have seen many women post about feeling guilty with the cravings and amount of food they eat during PMS or while on their period. 

We first want to say we are not experts in this area - if you have irregular cycles, PCOS, endometriosis, etc - this is not a replacement for professional guidance. There are amazing resources you can find which we will link - one of those being an expert in anti diet and PCOS, @foodpeacedietitian - Julie Duffy Dillon. 

If you do struggle with something in this area we recommend finding an expert who can help you - especially someone who is anti diet. 

That being said if you live with the question - should I be eating this much during PMS or during my period? I feel so hungry! I want to eat all the chocolate! Etc … this is what we re going to address in this episode.

This episode is for EVERYONE - just know if you do need extra support in this area to outsource - but also know listening to your body and eating intuitively during your period is what your body wants. IE is just the way you live, it doesn’t need to change when your period comes along, it’s a part of the ebb and flow. 

Tips to Intuiting Eating when you feel like you want to EAT ALL THE THINGS during PMS or during your period: 

#1. DO IT. EAT. Whatever your body is craving and the amount it’s craving that is what your body needs. The less judgement you have in what you eat and how much you eat, the more likely you will get the amount that feels good to your body.

Judgement will cause mental restriction which will lead to overeating and bingeing - of course there is nothing wrong with eating past fullness or bingeing but the more you allow the food, the craving, the desire, the more you’ll be able to listen to your body and eat the amount that feels good. 

#2. There are 4 phases during your cycle- this means there is an ebb and flow to what our body is signaling to us - it does not matter so much what the phases are - the point is that if you are craving something on your period that you don’t necessarily crave as much when you aren’t on your period, there is a reason for that. Our body is speaking to us and by listening, without any diet rules, just pure tuning in- We will be able to give our body what it needs and wants.

Remind yourself through each phase our body may require something different, we can trust that, and not judge it. If you do not have any concerning issues with your cycle, let your body lead you.

If you want to get further educated and take a deeper dive into it all we recommend finding an anti diet expert on menstrual cycles/ etc.

If you aren’t interested in that, continue to intuitively eat and allow yourself to ask your body questions without judgement and then answer the signal. 

Intuitive Movement on your period: 

#3. Our bodies go through different phases and in each phase we may have more or less energy to move. The point is to listen to your body. If it’s asking for rest. REST. If it’s asking for something gentle, do that. If it wants something upbeat and sweaty, do that. The point is that our bodies naturally ebb and flow between our 4 phases so just because you had a really strong/ heart pumping workout one day, doesn’t mean that is what your body needs every single day.

There are days when our bodies don’t have as much energy and need to rest - this is why we don’t need to force our movement. It really is about listening to your body and doing what feels good - and what feels good may look very different throughout each month. 

Long story short - if you think you need to counteract your cravings or hunger levels during PMS or your period just know that this is not intuitive. Whether the reason is hormonal changes, altered energy levels or emotional reasons, continue listening to your body. This way of life doesn’t change based on the time of the month, it’s a constant. Always listen to AND TRUST your body.

We hope you got some insights and permission to listen to your body ALL THE TIME. 

If you enjoy our podcast please rate and review wherever you listen, it helps the work of UnDieting get further and be seen by more people.

PS - Want to take our Intuitive Eating Quiz? You can do that HERE!

Thank you!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body on today’s episode we are going to be talking about Intuitive Drinking - we aren’t just talking about drinking alcohol, we are talking about drinking anything!

We get that in diet culture the only thing “acceptable” is drinking water or low cal/ zero calorie drinks and there are a lot of rules around water too!

When becoming an Intuitive Eater and UnDieter there is unconditional permission to eat AND there is also unconditional permission to drink. 

We do hear often - “What do I do about drinking soda, I really love it but I don’t think I “should” be drinking as much as I want.” This goes for anything - juice, alcohol, coffee drinks, and water etc. 

Note: If you choose not to drink alcohol for any reason- that is a perfectly fine choice and is not about restriction. Alcohol is not essential and for the sake of someone’s mental, physical, and emotional health if it’s best to not have it in your life that’s a personal decision and we absolutely respect that.

We did an entire episode on Intuitive Drinking regarding alcohol - refer back to episode 101 if you’d like more on that.

Here are some Intuitive drinking tips: 

 

 -Buy the mini version:

If you love the taste of something but realize drinking too much of it doesn’t feel good in your body - see if you can buy the mini version. Mini cans of soda or juice etc that allows you to still enjoy it while still feeling good in your body. 

-Body Autonomy:

Remind yourself that you have body autonomy and can make your own decisions regarding your body. If you are drinking soda, juice, alcohol- you get to tap into your body and ask - do I really want another glass of wine right now? Do I want to pour more juice? Do I want to order another soda?  How would that feel in my body? - If you think, “it sounds really good to have another one but I know I won’t feel good.” Then you can make the decision to stop. It’s not restriction or dieting - it’s you knowing your own body. If you think, “I really want another one but I know it won’t feel good.” You can still choose to order another one/ drink more if you want - Sometimes I know another cocktail or glass of wine won’t make me feel good the next morning but if I’m with my girlfriends or in a social environment I’m having fun in - sometimes one more is worth it even if it won’t feel good. Sometimes not having any alcohol at all is what feels best and sometimes having 1 or 2 feels best. It depends on the social setting, desire, and empowered choice. This can go for soda and juice too!

- Find what feels good:

If certain drinks you LOVE don’t feel good in abundance - still have them of course as we mentioned with the “mini version” or however much you want but what you can do is find what feels good as well. Ex. I’ll have sweet cocktails or margaritas or fun blended drinks etc but having a lot of that won’t feel good. Something else I really enjoy are hard seltzer’s which allow me to have drinks and feel good as it doesn’t feel as heavy or sweet. Bubbly soda drinks are enjoyable but having too many won’t feel good for me. I love drinking flavored seltzer drinks. Still have the fun bubbles, I enjoy it and feels good. 

- Nothing is inherently bad:

Also know that non caloric versions, sugar free versions etc are not inherently bad. For instance, I like diet coke, I prefer it to regular coke. Is this because I drank it during my dieting years so I’m more used to it? Maybe. But I do not feel deprived at all when having it , I genuinely prefer it. AND if I was really wanting some and regular was the only kind available I would likely have some, it is not a forbidden drink, just one I don’t prefer. Exploring the motivation behind your “preferences” is an important part of breaking down restriction.

- Be aware of backlash:

 

You can also look at any backlash that comes from your drink choices. Do you have no problem with alcohol but you worry about the calories, pass on any drink offered to you but then you find you fall into all or nothing habits with alcohol? Binge drinking can also be a cause of restriction (assuming you’re fine with alcohol otherwise). If drinks like juice, sodas etc aren’t something you particularly crave and you never feel out of control with it, this also isn’t something you need to force. You don’t HAVE to drink certain drinks in order to be considered to not be restricting.

- Become aware of any rules around drinks

do you feel you HAVE to drink a certain amount of water in a day. Do you feel that you should not drink more than 1 caloric drink a day? Do you feel you always need to get the sugar free version even though you don’t like the taste? Start questioning and breaking down these rules. 

- Treat Intuitive Eating and Intuitive Drinking as the same (minus alcohol, that’s different)

Eating and drinking don’t hold any more or less value over each other. We have been ingrained by diet culture that drinking your calories is the worst thing you could ever do. Not true. Treat the drinks you enjoy just as you would treat the food you enjoy. Being Intuitive applies to both without any morality attached.

We get that the warmer weather is coming and drinking more beverages may be a part of your life (or it may be the same year round) - either way, take on these tips. See what works for you. And have zero judgement around it. Just explore and get curious. 

That’s all for today. Please rate and review the podcast, we'd greatly appreciate it! 

See you next week! 

Welcome to How to Love Your Body, the podcast that guides you out of diet culture, into a lifestyle of intuitive eating and towards a life of wellness without the obsession.

A big concern for many people is that the first phase of this work can feel a little “unhealthy” at times. Eating more than usual and often foods that you didn't allow yourself to eat before. Many people take a break from working out as well. All of this PLUS the idea that you’re letting go of the ideal body you've been working towards for the past 10-30 years, that can feel scary and a little icky.

So if you’ve started your journey towards intuitive eating but isn’t feeling very good physically this is the episode for you.

What is the goal with intuitive eating? What is the end game of undieting?

First and foremost it is about letting go of the diet mentality. This is #1 always, it’s about untangling yourself from the harmful messaging that dieting is healthy, that thinner is better and that we have long term control over our weight.

This awareness and new way of thinking is the basis of this work.

However, people can often get stuck in being aware of the diet mentality but living with one foot in and one foot out - often without even knowing it.

 

How can you tell if you’re half in and half out?

 

  • You are allowing all foods but it doesn’t feel good physically
  • You’re understanding that you can’t control your body size like you were told you could but you also don’t trust that your body can handle itself
  • You don’t feel at peace with food - it’s still something you worry about quite often

When we are half in and half out of the diet mentality (it can be hard to uproot all of the beliefs and thoughts that we bring with us from diet culture - but it’s absolutely possible, don’t worry), we cannot take the final steps to wellness without the obsession which MOST people are looking for - and if this is something you don’t care about that is entirely fine as well.

We have done 2 polls on our instagram recently and 98% percent of people say this is what they are working towards wellness without the obsession WWTO.

So we are diving into some things you can work on to steer yourself towards wellness without it ever coming from a place of fear, inadequacy and shame like diet culture teaches us.

What are the things we need to do in order to find wellness in this intuitive eating work?

  1. Motivations MUST move from a “fixing” mindset to an “honoring” mindset

Meaning:

Dieting, weight loss and typical “health” teachings come from a place of fixing and fear. Your body isn’t good enough you need to fix it, those foods are so bad for you, cut this out, remove that from your diet, workout more to burn more calories. You need to be smaller, fitter, and look different…. These motivations of fear, shame and fixing burn out really fast. They also lead to all or nothing thinking, keeping us trapped in the cycle.

So instead we want to incorporate wellness from a place of self compassion and abundance. Instead of needing to fix, you want to ADD things in that honor yourself and your body. So instead of thinking that anything is wrong, we come at this work from an understanding that you are complete and whole just the way you are AND how do you want to feel? What can you ADD to make you feel good and enjoy life to its fullest?

Instead of restriction or “willpower” this type of wellness must always be an addition.

Examples:

  • Adding a salad with your pizza
  • Adding a walk in after sitting at your desk all day
  • Adding a nap when you’re tired
  • Adding certain foods that help with any conditions you may be struggling with

The body does not retaliate against adding but it will backfire when you use restriction to try to get to a place of wellness.

2. Letting go of shoulds and asking yourself what do I actually WANT?

This is a tricky one for a lot of people. Sometimes when we say to let go of all rules and all shoulds this leads to a period of rebelling and that is completely normal. 

What do I want??? All the foods I haven’t been allowing myself for the last decade, thank you very much!

And that is important, that phase needs to occur for most people but when you let go of all shoulds and rules and think about what you actually WANT it can look like this:

What do I want to eat, I can have anything at all…

This permission allows us to take a step back and think about it for a minute without the rebellion energy that comes from breaking the rules.

Sometimes your tastebuds might want cookies for dinner but you might also want to feel good afterwards and you know that wouldn’t feel too great so you opt to make a more traditional meal and then enjoy cookies as well. Leaving you feeling more nourished while also honoring your desire for the cookies. 

Some people believe that if you have to put any effort into wellness it is no longer non-diet but this is not true.

Sometimes you KNOW that walk or yoga class would feel amazing, and you know you enjoy it once you start but getting going feels hard sometimes. To honor yourself this may mean you push yourself to get going now and then. Without rules or shoulds but instead with the mindset of wanting to feel good in your body.

Analogies always help with this, say you want to achieve a goal in your business, you know the outcome is what you want, and you know you love your work but there are days when you have to do tasks that aren’t any fun. Does this mean you shouldn’t do them?

No.

You can choose not to but if the goal is something you really want for yourself then you have to push yourself now and then.

The diet culture version of this would be if you wanted to get a raise at work just to keep up with the Jones’, you hate your job, don’t want to be there but it’s what society expects of you, to climb the ladder and to highly value material success.

That is a similar situation technically but the energy around it is full of should’s, others expectations and overall harm, not benefit.

So your endeavor to wellness without the obsession can feel like the first example, a little but of effort is needed at times, it’s not always 100% enjoyable BUT it is overall peaceful, pleasurable and for YOU, not for anyone else, not to fit into a box of what society says you should do but your own genuine desires. 

3. Being able to shift when things don’t feel good

Here is a situation that we hear a lot:

I’m allowing all food but the past week I’ve just been eating and eating and it feels horrible, I almost just want to go back on a diet.

THIS is all or nothing thinking that follows us from diet culture. This doesn’t feel good, let’s do a complete 180 and overhaul everything I’m doing and get on a strict plan.

NO!

Instead we want to cultivate the tools to make small shifts within intuitive eating to feel better.

What does this look like?

  • Getting back into the present moment, what would feel good right now? 
  • Not eating many veggies? Add in some with your dinner tonight.
  • Haven’t been moving and want to get going? Go for a walk

It’s about small steps in the right direction (where YOU want to go), not big, drastic, overnight changes.

This of course is all easier said than done and is largely mindset based and that is why we are so excited to be offering our exclusive Wellness Without the Obsession workshop as April’s monthly bonus in The UnDiet Collective.

We will be running this workshop live on April 7th (the replay will also be available) for our members in The UnDiet Collective.

You have the opportunity to join us (with a yearly subscription - which is only $15/m) starting today March 30 to April 1 at noon pacific.

To learn more go to thebodylovesociety.com/app or email us at hello@thebodylovesociety.com if you have any questions, you can also send us a DM on instagram we are @thebodylovesociety .

See you next week!!

 Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on this week’s episode we are talking about Intuitive Eating Burnout. How to handle it. And what to do if you are feeling the overload.

Let’s first start off by discussing what Intuitive Eating burnout is- this is when you feel like your life feels consumed by trying to listen to your hunger signals, figure out if the diet mentality is talking or if it’s truly your intuition. It’s listening to every IE podcast, reading every book, and ingesting as much IE content as possible to “fix” yourself. 

Although it’s not dieting it may just feel like another obsession - although it may feel much better than dieting and constantly trying to lose weight - it still keeps your mind really busy, like it’s now the only thing you can think of - you still aren’t free. 

When you feel this - you may think - well, I better read ANOTHER book, listen to ANOTHER podcast, focus even more acutely on my hunger signals- do anything and everything to learn, learn, learn in the hopes of finally “fixing” the issue. 

Okay SO - if you feel this way - we get it, And guess what - it’s “normal” to feel this way. This doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you and you’ll never ever really truly embody IE. Not the case at all - 

What this does mean…. 

That instead of loading on more content and education - it may just mean that you need to take a break, take a step back, and start to trust your body that it knows more than you think it does. 

Yes, this may mean to stop forcing it and to let yourself be. 

If 

-listening to another podcast 

-reading another book 

-taking on every IE tip you read on IG 

-following more and more coaches/ counselors

-focusing even harder on the 10 IE principles 

-doing that free IE challenge someone is promoting 

… sounds exhausting and like it’s gobbling you up. It’s perfectly okay to STOP. To take a break and not put anything more on your plate. 

You may not need more. You may just need to turn off your brain and simplify things. To finally let your body have the chance to do it’s thing without constant thinking - we want to quiet the mind and let the feelings in our body take the lead. 

We aren’t suggesting to give up all support, all the community groups, all the books and podcasts you love. No, not at all. Those things are very much important to support you in your process - you’re listening to our podcast right now - and of course we want you to keep listening. 

But just like you are going to let your body signals do their thing - you can also listen to how your body responds to content - if it feels effortless, energizing, and inviting to continue to read the book you’re reading or listen to the podcasts, or do whatever IE work you’re doing by all means KEEP DOING IT. 

If it feels forced, draining, and overwhelming - STOP. Take a step back. Only continue to engage in the things that feel helpful and like you want to do it. 

And if every single thing you feels like a SHOULD here are the things you can do --- 

-Allow all food
-Listen to what sounds good to your body
-EAT
-Move on 

No overthinking, feeling guilty, or regretful. 

The only thing you are doing is listening to your body and eating the food - no more, no less. 

Give yourself space to just be in the flow of letting your body lead you and turning off your mind. 

Move through life with feelings not thoughts. 

This doesn’t mean you will never turn back on the thoughts or read another book or listen to another podcast or do the Intuitive Eating challenge or take the IE course - 

It just means you are taking a break to let your body lead - so you don’t have to take this all on by yourself - you don’t need to try so hard to make this IE thing work. You most likely just need to BE more - and things will start to feel natural and second nature instead of another obsession around food (even if it’s Intuitive Eating, any type of obsessive thinking is not an ideal way to live). 

Whatever happens - just let it happen. Surrender to your body signals and just honor them. When you feel recharged - and like you are energized to get more into the thought process of this work - then great! You may need a day to recharge, a week, a month, or longer. However long, that’s perfectly fine. This is your process. 

If you are feeling burnt out on Intuitive Eating - then the best thing to do is give yourself time to just BE. 

And most importantly, when you take this time for your brain to settle, it comes without judgement. Taking a break but judging yourself for it will be counterproductive. It’s the combining the rest period with no judgement that will actually move you through this process feeling much more deliberate and intentional. It will feel good. 

As mentioned, this may just need a short break - this is not a forever sentence. It’s whatever comes forth for you.

Allow, listen, quiet the mind, move on. 

This episode was all about taking a break - so please honor your process - and we would also like to share that The UnDiet Collective Membership App will be opening for 48 hours in the next couple of weeks. If you are looking for simplified support in IE/ Body Image/ Mindset work - you can get Daily action steps, weekly live coaching, community support, monthly bonuses, IE resources and more - all in one spot so you don’t need to find all things IE in a bunch of different directions. 

You can get on the waitlist at www.thebodylovesociety.com/app 

See you next week!

Welcome to this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body.

Today we are discussing the worry so many people are having about going back into the world as the pandemic restrictions begin to ease in many places.

Firstly, don’t feel guilty if you’re feeling uneasy about getting back into the world because you’ve gained weight, because we’ve all been taught to think this way our whole lives BUT isn’t that horrible, that our society is so fatphobic that we are more worried about surviving a pandemic and being seen instead of celebrating that we made it this far?

 Regardless, we know that people are worried and we want to support you to get back into the world feeling a little better than you might be feeling right now.

You can download our free Post Pandemic Body Image Workbook at bit.ly/pandemicworkbook 

How to Overcome Pandemic Weight Gain Negative Thoughts:

#1. Acceptance and appreciation

 

It’s important to appreciate any coping mechanisms you had, saying thank you and moving forward .

Don’t try to “fix” anything that you feel needs “fixing” – this never ends well.

What you can do is bring yourself back to center and ask yourself, what can I do right now to feel good? What will feel good in my body right now? And just take that next small step.

No need to do anything other than the next tiny step to do something that feels good – mentally, physically, and/or emotionally. 

 This is about giving yourself a break – Hello!! We have been in a pandemic for over a year now. This is something that most of us have never experienced. We thought the world was closing for 2 weeks, we would stay at home, and life would go back to normal — and here we are a year later. 

 We have all been in survival mode – so however you got through this past year, it’s nothing to judge. It was what got you through. Nothing is good or bad or right or wrong. It just is – and you did a wonderful job getting through some really tough times – and that’s life. It will always ebb and flow and you will do the best you can in the situation you are in.

So this is your reminder to be gentle with yourself, accept reality, and appreciate the things you had to cope with to get where you are now. 

#2. Put your own opinion and experience of life above others opinions. 

 

Even though we were all in the same pandemic, we have all experienced it in our own way and have been living our own life that others truly know nothing about.

You know you more than anyone, you know the person you are, you know what you have lived – no one gets to define you, no one gets to make you feel inferior because of the way your body looks (or for any other reason), no one gets to take your power with their judgments or comments. 

Here are some journal prompts that you can start thinking about – they will be in your workbook so no need to write it down. 

 

  • What is it that makes you feel safe at home to be in the body you have but not out in the world where people can see you? What has changed? How can you embody the feelings you’ve had at home and take them with you out into the world?

 

  • What are three things you are proud of yourself for in this past year?

 

  • If your body was how it looked at the start of the pandemic how would your life be different? Would you have a different life? Would you have eternal happiness? Would this past year have been easier? And if your answer is yes – what does this show you about your own beliefs? That looks matter more than true wellness, than the ability to survive this harrowing year, that its the most important thing?

 

 

#3. Here are some tangible things you can do as you start to enter into the world (when it’s safe/ vaccines etc).

 

  • Get clothes that fit – Allow yourself to get clothes that fit your body you have today that feel comfortable. One of the most triggering things is to have uncomfortable clothing on – it can really spiral you into a body body image day and your mind is full of intruding thoughts – it’s vital to respect your body and yourself to have clothes that give you the space that feels good.

 

This isn’t something to feel shame for – the reality is, you are giving your body enough cloth to cover yourself in a way that feels good on your body. No morality in this!  

How can you think of clothing in a way that gives meaning that feels good to you/ or a neutral meaning? We know this can be a frustrating and emotional topic which is why we are going to have a bonus in The UnDiet Collective next month that covers the topic of clothing, fashion, and how to process the emotions of it all – (Add more details if Josie is a go).

 

  • Write yourself a reminder and read it – “I survived a Pandemic. It’s safe to go out into the world and be in the body I’m in today. It’s normal for bodies to change!!!” 

 

  • Commit to not making body comments
    Make a pact with yourself that you won’t comment on anyone else’s body or your own body (our egos have a tendency to want to overexplain ourselves, like preemptively commenting that you’ve gained weight so others dont but practicing just BEING without explaining is a really powerful practice in not worrying what others think as much).

– and to stop someone in their tracks from commenting on your body.

Ex. “I’m doing this thing – post pandemic, that I committed to not comment on anyones body including my own. I’m focusing on how relieved I am the pandemic is declining instead of worrying about anyone’s body changing.”

What value do you see in committing to this?

 

  • Refrain from diet talk/ avoid engaging in any diet  conversations 

 

  • Don’t apologize or feel the need to explain yourself for your body- if you find yourself trying to explain to someone why your body is a different size, remind yourself that you do not have to apologize for taking up space! You don’t need to give any explanations to why your body is ever the size it is.

4 – You are not alone with pandemic weight gain worries. Realizing it’s not just YOU — most people feel uneasy as things open up and nervous about being seen after time away during a really hard year. 

 

ALSO – it always feels scary to do something that we have not done in a long time. Not only that, our brains makes up worst case scenarios that also make it feel even more anxiety producing.

So it’s important to remind yourself that what you are saying in your head about what’s going to happen when the world opens up and people see you more often, is not actually happening right this second. It’s a made up reality. Let’s create a version of this story that feels good.

You could quite possibly be worrying about something that will never happen or something that may just fall short –

Ex. You’re so nervous to go back to work and you think everyone is going to look at you and make comments etc and once you show up, no one actually cares or notices how you look and everyone is just happy to feel connected again.

Or you finally get to meet up with girlfriends for brunch or a wine night and you get it in your head that all they will think about is the way you look but then you end up meeting up with friends and what actually happens is how fun you all had and missed being together.

This could very much be your reality too. 

Here are some action steps to take: 

Let’s do some “What if”  Turn Arounds:

 

Start with the ones that scare you the most – make a list of 3 or more

 

 

What if they say I’ve gained weight?

What if someone looks at me and I can tell they are judging me? 

What if some people around me lost weight?

What if no one even notices my body and moves on with their day?

What if everyone around you was also worried about being judged?

What if others have gained weight? Will you judge them? 

 

  1. You have your own best advice – It’s soooo  much easier to give advice/ support someone rather than take our own advice. We know that. But with this exercise we hope that you can see your own wisdom. Even if it feels challenging – you know that this wisdom is within you and you know the truth of what you truly believe. You can practice and remind yourself of how you would speak to a friend or loved one going through the same feelings and treat yourself with the same love and respect. 

 

  • If your best friend/ or someone you love came to you and said they are really nervous about going back to work/ school/ a social outing  – what advice would you give them? How would you soothe them? 

 

We know that even when you work through this it may still feel challenging and that’s okay – it’s okay to feel nervous, you are doing amazing work to support yourself through this by listening to this podcast, going through the workbook we have provided for you, and anything else you are doing.

This will take some time to get used to — you may realize that it felt easier than you thought and you may realize the complete opposite or anywhere in between. Whatever your experience, it’s your experience – we hope we can help support you in making it just a bit easier – or a lot!

Lastly we would like to recognize that even with all the work in the world in this area. The systemic injustices of weight stigma and fatphobia are real and this is why we are here in the first place.

No one would feel nervous about being seen by their peers, family, or co-workers if it didn’t exist. This is the issue we are advocating against. Everytime you show up and say, hey this is my body, I belong here, and I’m allowed to be me and take up space ! You are breaking down the social stigma around weight and taking your power back.

We will continue to do this work and strive to make change along with the other amazing people out there making waves — for now you continue to take care of yourself and do your best to celebrate the current body you are in!! 

In the next couple of weeks we will be opening The UnDiet Collective App for 48 hours. We are excited for our Clothing bonus in April… We will be having an expert come in to share about how to clear out your closet, do the emotional work of letting clothes go that maybe fit pre pandemic but no longer do and how to find clothes (on a budget) that fit you now and how to feel your best in your current body. You can get on the waitlist at bit.ly/tblsapp.

Welcome to how to love your body, today we are talking about how to stop caring what people think. 

This is a big part of what keeps people stuck in the diet cycle - worrying about what other people think can really fuel the fire.

People will say, I’m doing this for me, it’s not about what others think but since we live in a culture that is so obsessed with thinness and looks it’s almost impossible to untangle what YOU really want from what our society has taught us we are meant to want.

Firstly let’s tackle this idea that “i just want to lose weight for myself”

-cannot remove yourself from diet culture

-its too engrained

-external validation

-cannot escape the deep core message that we are accepted by our body size

-yes of course you want external validation - 100s of years ago that’s how we survived - but now we are evolved enough to think critically about that and shift that way of thinking.

This is just to say - question your thoughts and beliefs when you think “It’s not about what others think, I just want this for me”. Can that really be true?

Now moving onto when we KNOW we care what people think (again, which is so normal and it’s only human, but when it rules how we live, it’s something we can work on).

Here are three things you can do to begin putting what other people think lower on your priority list:

1. Get logical about it.

This is something you can journal on:

Imagine a scenario with someone who you are worried about seeing - play it out. You’re walking down the street, you see Claire, she says hi, you ask how her mom is, she asks about your partner, and you both go on your way. What she thought about you really had no effect on this situation.

It’s more about what WE think they’re thinking than what they’re actually thinking.

Most of the time you will never know what people are thinking.

And yes of course there will be insensitive people who say rude things but do we want to spend all of our days to change ourselves so that Aunt Jane doesn’t make a rude comment at Thanksgiving dinner? The cost/ benefit just doesn’t line up.

2. It’s really about what WE think of ourselves that gets us worried.

When you are worrying that someone is thinking X about you, it’s really a worry that someone is ALSO thinking X about you. It starts with us.

If you got your hair done and loved it you wouldn’t be worried that people won’t like it because YOU like it, if you got your hair done the same way but hated it, you would worry that other people didn’t like it.

Our insecurities about what people think COME from our own insecurities.

The good news is that when you have the self awareness about worrying what other people think, you can then look inward and reflect on your own beliefs and then you have somewhere to go from there.

We cannot control what other people think but we can work on our own mindset!

3. Never caring what anyone thinks is unlikely to ever happen, instead focus on the people who you respect and love.

Do you worry about what Simone from high school is going to think? Maybe not worth your time. Are you worried what your partner is going to think? Maybe something worth looking at because you are going to be affected by that.

HOWEVER, this never means someone else’s opinion is ever more important than your own.

This can at least make you be more selective about WHO you worry about.

This is a big part of the work but it is something you can get better with.

Freedom does require lessening the importance of what others think and increasing the value of YOUR opinion.

If you find the podcast helpful please rate and review, it helps a lot.

See you next week!

Today we are rating and reviewing the 3 worst diets disguised as intuitive eating in 2021.

Lets dive right in because we have lots to discuss:

Coming in third place:

 

  • 2B Mindset

This is a diet (yes a diet) from Beachbody.

The creator has her own weight loss story and uses this to sell the program. 

A lot of the messaging does sound so appealing – never be hungry and still lose weight, live your life and still lose weight, it sounds so good. Honestly even when I read it I have a moment of hope. But then the truth comes crashing in.

Here are some other things that it says:

 

  • What to eat first at every meal to lose weight 
  • What to order first at a restaurant to lose weight 
  • “Dozens of my proven weight loss secrets” , if anyone ever promotes their weight loss program or tips as secrets – they lying. Anything that actually worked would be such big news it would not be a secret. 
  • Then it says “results may vary based on starting point, effort and following Beachbody’s exercise and healthy eating plan” – okay soooo a diet.
  • Then it says it again – get my secrets to results that last a lifetime. If its a secret its a lie. 
  • Then as we go into the website you see that she also has packages that include the beachbody shakes – it gets more diety the deeper you dig.

 

And this is all to say: WE KNOW this sounds appealing for many, this is the problem. Diets disguise themselves as not diets, as something different and this is what leads people down the road an extra 5 years thinking – oh maybe this ones the answer, maybe this one….

It’s really harmful.

We want to confirm that this is a diet and pursuing weight loss leads to the same results no matter the name of it. 

Runner up is:

 

Intuitive Fasting

 

It is advertised as: “A clear but flexible, four week plan combining intuitive eating with intermittent fasting and Ketotarian foods. It’s designed to optimize our wellbeing and set us up to feel our best for all the other weeks to come. This is not a book of dogma. It will not punish you or restrict you. “

You’ll notice these are ALL buzz words and this description doesn’t really say anything.

Dr. Will Cole, the author of this book (who is not a medical doctor by the way, he is a quote “leader in functional medicine – his bio on instagram says intuitive fasting + ketotarian + inflammation spectrum (the buzz words that mean nothing.. honestly). 

The contradictions here are astounding:

Dr. Will Cole says – Not everyone is created equal- The realization that everyone is created differently. There is not a one-size-fits-all approach to getting well. What works for one person can flare other’s triggers. To treat symptoms and ailments, functional medicine uses herbal botanical medicine, lifestyle modifications, supplements and medications when needed to regain health.

Yet I have written a 4 week plan that you should all BUY!

There is no such thing as intuitive fasting. This is like saying be a vegetarian and eat meat – nope not possible. No matter how hard you sell it. 

The word intuitive is used here because they know that intuitive eating is on the rise in popularity and strict diets are on the outs. 

What it actually is: 

This program is actually just 3 of the more popular ways of eating right now, intermittent fasting, intuitive eating and keto (obviously one of these things is not like the other) – and smashing them together to sell something.

This program is nothing new, there is nothing intuitive about it and it’s in fact very harmful.

Diets suck. We know that.

AND the reason these specific diets are the most harmful is because they are a wolf in sheep’s clothing. People who are embarking on the journey to become an intuitive eater often still want to lose weight – so someone coming along and saying Hey, don’t worry you can be intuitive-ish and still fast and eat keto, don’t worry. You can be intuitive AND lose weight.

This is predatory and honestly really scary.

The key issue here is knowing how to determine if something is legitimately IE or not – ANYTHING with any food rules (including when you can eat) it is not authentic to this work.

I think sometimes we almost WISH that it was real – I can find food freedom AND embark on a quest to manipulate my food intake and my body? It’s safe, it’s what we know, but it just won’t get you to where you want to go.

The winner of the worst diet disguising itself as intuitive eating is …

 

  • Noom

 

Why is this the winner?

It’s the sneakiest one AND the most successful. Noom is a HUGE company at this point.

Founded in 2008 by two engineers (yes, engineers, not psychologists like its advertised) , Saeju Jeong and Artem Petakov, Noom is a personalized health coaching company with its own app.

Noom has over 50 million members and has raised over $114 million in investment capitol.

And what’s so great about it? Why is it so successful?

The reason Noom has done so well is because of it’s marketing, it claims to be a psychology based approach to losing weight for good and don’t forget its not a diet (WINK). One of their slogans is “Don’t go on a diet, go on Noom.”

The app claims to help you to learn to eat mindfully and that using psychology you will lose the weight once and for all.

There are 2 options you can take when starting Noom – they are, lose weight for good and Get fit for good, note that for the Get fit for good option you still have to choose a weight loss goal soooo not sure how these are different.

Luckily you cannot enter a goal weight that when calculated with your height is not considered underweight however for many people the lowest weight they can reach while still being considered in the “healthy weight” range according to BMI can still be a weight that is unhealthy for that person so although these parameters are in place it just isn’t enough to keep people safe.

They claim to not be a restrictive diet but once you enter the program you are allotted a certain amount of calories based on how much weight you want to lose and how fast you want to lose it. 

They also market themselves as being something you only have to do for 10 minutes a day…. Okay maybe you’re only on the app for 10 minutes a day but when you count up all the meals you make, the meals you track, the workouts you do, the workouts you track and then on top of that dealing with food preoccupation and always thinking about the weight loss, what is the actual time this takes? 

If you are a dieter or used to be a dieter you know it’s not that simple.

Again the danger in this program is that IT DOES look so good. As you go through the process of signing up and answering questions it has a graphic that shows your goal weight getting closer and closer (it did this no matter how I answered the questions). It makes it seem like, it’s so close, this is so possible for me.

Here is some conflicting messaging that shows that this whole “not a diet” thing is just very smart marketing.

“We all fall off the wagon sometimes. We’ll help you get back on track” – if this isn’t a diet, how can there be a wagon?

They share some great information on why restrictive dieting is bad:

Why restrictive diets fail – (the “Yo-Yo” effect)

 

Columbia University reports that 73% of dieters experience at least one weight cycling episode

The Mayo Clinic reports more “Yo-Yo” cycles increases diabetes risk and amounts of belly fat

But then THEY are a restrictive diet – with calorie allotments, meal tracking and red, green and yellow foods, saying which foods are good, ok and bad BUT since they ALLOW all the foods it’s not restrictive. But if you put a bad label on a food and limit the calories how are you meant to include these foods into this program?

This is restriction- both mental and physical.

This information was provided by someone who has done the program: (No we were not going to do this program or pay Noom for this episode, that would be self harm and would also fund a company that we do not believe in).

Here are the things that show that this is just another diet:

SEE images HERE

They also have articles and discussions about mindset which is great (and the thing that they say makes this program about psychology and not restriction) but they really miss the mark on these things.- for instance they say to work on all or nothing thinking, amazing! We say this too but their version looks like this. They say progress can come in all forms not just weight loss.

These so called markers of progress are so steeped in diet culture it’s astounding. 

THIS IS NOT psychology – this is a twist on diet culture and calling it something else.

And that is the thing to be aware of in today’s diet market.

It’s not the obvious diets, those are out there and you can find one on every corner of the internet – we don’t take any time to talk about those because for people who are at all aware of this work, they are not as dangerous.

What’s dangerous are the diets disguising themselves as IE, as wellness and as something different.

These things are powerful though, even me being on this website – I had a couple moments of ugh I remember that fun feeling of starting a new plan and thinking this was the first day of the rest of my life. It’s a high. It’s fun, it’s hopeful, it’s exciting. How do we NOT get sucked back into this crap all the time?

So please, do not feel bad if these programs have roped you in before? It’s human nature BUT we can learn from this.

We can learn to not walk through the door, we can learn to identify diets quickly and move along.

How to identify a diet:

1. Weight loss is a focus. No matter what they say after this, if the point is to lose weight, it’s a diet. Yes, everytime.

2. There are ANY restrictions or classifications of foods. For instance labeling foods red, yellow and green.

3. There are restrictions on why or how you should eat – for instance, fasting windows.

Pretty much, if it isn’t IE or someone teaching you how to trust your own body, it’s a diet. 

Much love and if you have found this podcast helpful on your journey please rate and review, it helps the movement and helps new people find this work.

Thank you so much.

 

 

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