On this week's episode of How to Love Your Body we combined a very loaded question that we have gotten over the years, so we decided to put it all into one episode.

We are going to be addressing:

  • How to be an UnDieter even if you have food allergies that cause restrictions/ medical restrictions.
  • Also touch on a question that we get often “if it’s safe to go vegan/ vegetarian without spiraling back into dieting even though there are many restrictions.”
  • Lastly one of our listeners left us a review (thank you!) - and asked if we could touch on how to navigate food restrictions that are ethics based (and still follow IE/ UnDieting).

Here's a worksheet you can download- "How to make sure your medical/ethical restrictions don’t become a slippery slope back into the diet mentality!"- Get it here.

 

Before we begin- we are not licensed dietitians so anything we share is solely from our own experiences and opinions - Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and always, always, always consult a professional if your health is at risk or for any matter!

Let’s dive in…

1. How to be an UnDieter with Food Allergies

Food allergies or medical restrictions can make you feel restricted and that is the exact feeling we are trying to get away from when we UnDiet - so how do we marry the two together?

First off - the mindset of CHOOSING to not partake in these foods needs to be present, if we think about it like “we can’t”, or “the doctor told me not to”, it feels like a rule that wants to be broken!

When it’s your own empowered choice daily to forgo certain foods it feels a lot more peaceful, because in reality it is a choice. If a food makes you feel sick, you can choose to eat it and feel sick or you can choose to not eat it and not feel sick - honestly neither choice is right or wrong, but its your choice to make.

Even for Jenna as someone with celiac disease, she can choose to eat gluten and increase her chances greatly of getting colon cancer later in life (and other complications and damage) or she can choose not to eat it.

The other shift you need to make is to not associate your allergy with being “healthier” - in the diety sense of the term.

We spoke to a client who was wondering if gluten free bread etc was healthier than the regular stuff -- that’s not the point (because usually it's not, gluten free options are often more processed with more ingredients ). If you can’t eat gluten, you aren’t eating it to try to eat “healthier” options, you’re doing it because your body doesn't react to it well.

Let go of restriction = healthier and embrace EVERY alternative that you can

Can’t eat gluten? Go out and find this!

  • GF pizza
  • GF breads
  • GF cookies
  • GF cakes, pies, desserts
  • GF pasta

Just for-going these foods all together will feel very restrictive and make you feel like you’re on a diet all over again.

You can also do this with dairy free alternatives etc.

Go out and find the alternative that you enjoy!

2. Is it safe to go vegan/ vegetarian without spiraling back into dieting even though there are many restrictions.

What’s your intention behind being vegan/ vegetarian? Is there diet culture in your intention or is it your genuine authentic choice because it serves you best? Does it have to be so black and white?

We've seen someone say they are “predominantly plant based” meaning they mostly eat veggie and sometimes meat- also do you have to label yourself? Can you just eat the way that feels best to you and if that’s mostly plant based then great but if one day you have meat it doesn't need to mean anything?

The second you announce to the world or your family you are now a vegan / veggie - the pressure kicks in and you feel turmoil if you “cheat” around people you told you are vegan etc…

Of course you only know what’s best for you and what honors your body / mental health- we'd say if there isn’t a big reason (like religious/ ethic/ allergy) for being vegetarian/ vegan to not dive back into such a slippery slope of restriction (if you see it that way).

We’ve seen from experience that once someone calls themselves a vegetarian or vegan they slip back into dieting feelings - we had a client who did that and it lasted for a few days before she caught herself and knew it wasn't good for her… Are you masking something ? Lauren did vegan and most of it was hiding disordered eating - now she loves vegan / veggie meals but she doesn't label herself- she eats it all!

 

 

3. How to navigate food restrictions that are ethics based (and still follow IE/ UnDieting)

 

If you choose to eat / not eat certain things based on your own morals/ ethics - great. That is completely okay AND you can still be intuitive and live as an UnDieter.

It’s really about shifting your mindset about WHY you are doing what you are doing - if you choose not to eat something because you don’t agree with the company - that’s not diet culture and that’s not food restriction. That is believing in something you care about and following what feels aligned with you. You are making a powerful choice with your beliefs not with diet mentality.

If you don’t eat meat / eat certain things that come from an immoral company that doesn’t mean you can’t find what you want in a version that works for you- there are many meat alternatives that you can satisfy your cravings with. Be your own best advocate and find things that replace what you really enjoy in a way that works for you!

As for a company - ex. If it’s a sandwich company that is owned by someone who is involved in something you are not in alignment with - you don’t ever have to eat there. PASS. That’s great. AND if you love sandwiches from this place but choose to not eat there anymore- go explore and find a new favorite sandwich place. There are options even when choosing to no eat something based on ethics.

 

The point- you can have food allergies, you can follow your morals, you can be vegan/ vegetarian or not be vegan/ vegetarian and you can still live a life as an UnDieter.

You don’t need to see anything as restriction - you see it as honoring your mind and your body. You see it as a powerful choice (and it doesn't always have to be the same choice, it can ebb and flow). And if there is diet mentality in there- you know it’s not about morals/ ethics/ allergies - it’s a red flag showing you that there’s some work to do underneath the surface so you can heal your relationship with food and your body and find your freedom.

Don't forget to grab your WORKSHEET here.

Talk soon!

Love, Lauren and Jenna

PS. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @thebodylovesociety, we offer coaching and tips and tools daily to make your journey to food and body freedom that much easier.

It’s not that they are bad - it’s that we think they're bad and we judge the heck out of them -- and they can most likely send us spiraling into body image thoughts with lots of shame and judgement. So we would like to share how to cope with them so they don’t take you down. Here's a worksheet you can download to help you with the process. http://bit.ly/tblsbadphotos

We have all had those days when you are going about your life- maybe scrolling on social media, you see a memory/ timeline share on Facebook, or you're going through your camera roll on your phone and BAM you see a photo that makes your stomach drop followed by lots of judgement and mean comments about yourself.

You zero in on the photo and pick apart every body part that you don’t like, every squish, everything… and that may lead you into a spiral of catastrophic thinking…

You start to think you need to lose weight, if you should start a diet, what you should stop eating, how you can start exercising more… it never ends.

So here’s how we want to help you cope.

 

We want to give you a 3 step process to use when dealing with bad photos

  1. Acknowledge and validate

    Acknowledge & validate your feelings. It's okay to have the feelings you have.

  2. Zoom Out
    Get a birds eye view of what is actually happening - noticing what's around you.

  3. Gratitude
    What are you grateful for?

 

STEP 1: Acknowledge and validate your feelings- It's okay to initially have these feelings- it's what you do with these feelings that matter.

STEP 2: "Zoom Out" - What is actually happening in this photo other than what your body looks like? Are you having fun? Are you creating memories? Is there anything special about this day in this photo? What can you notice?

STEP 3: Snapping yourself out of body thoughts and into your present life can bring you from judgement to gratitude- What are 2-5 things that you feel grateful for when you shifted your body image thoughts and "Zoomed Out" instead?

 

A couple more helpful tips....

  • Stop the urges to dive deeper into catastrophic thinking. Wanting to go compare your old pictures to how you look now? STOP! Want to take a picture of yourself in those old jeans to see how they look? STOP!
  • Stopping yourself from getting deeper is very important. When you’re in a moment of freak out over a picture of yourself, step away and go do something else, diving in deeper will not help anything.

BE GENTLE AND COMPASSIONATE WITH YOURSELF.

Love, Lauren and Jenna

We want to talk about a question that comes up a lot in the UnDiet community.

Is the way to UnDiet to just eat everything?

Before we get started we do have a worksheet you can download that will help you get curios and figure out how to find wellness without the obsession without feeling like you need to eat EVERYTHING. Get it here.

There is going to be a phase where you just ALLOW, it doesn’t need to be crazy but it definitely is part of the process after years of restriction.

Your body has got to learn to trust you that you will allow yourself to eat the food you want - and that it won’t return to the restrict/ binge cycle / feeling like it’s in a famine. So consider this the “gaining trust” stage. ENJOY!

Once you really get the hang of allowing all food and realizing it’s okay to eat and these foods don’t have power over you - you MAY start to feel like you’re in this place where you are okay with allowing all food but you just don’t feel too great in your body…

and you don’t know how to have a balance between allowing all food and still consider nutrition/ wellness. You may be asking yourself - Do I just ALWAYS have to eat EVERYTHING now because I allow all food?

The answer is NO.

Here are 3 ways you can find yourself still allowing all food without feeling like you always need to eat everything…. Because as we always say- feeling good in your body matters too!

 

1. How to Consider Nutrition without it feeling like a slippery slope into dieting / restriction

When you choose to eat something - tune in - ask your body how it feels. What sounds good? What will honor your body?

Your body is going to be firing off different signals all the time- sometimes you’ll feel very hungry and know that a bigger heartier meal is wanted. Sometimes you may feel not as hungry but know you still want to eat something. Maybe it’s just a snack you want or maybe it’s a meal?

Maybe the day before, you were very hungry and your meals were filled with awesome delicious carbs and they next day your body was feeling like lighter meals? (of course you can still add carbs in any time, any day)

The point is our bodies ebb and flow along the hunger spectrum and it’s our job to connect to our body and get to know our signals.

 

If you are feeling like you haven’t eaten veggies in a while - it’s okay to purposely add more veg into your week - add it to a yummy meal and make sure to pick veggies you actually like.

 

Just because you are choosing veggies doesn’t mean they have to taste bad! Maybe make an epic salad with a bunch of colorful fresh veggies with your favorite dressing and toppings! Maybe it’s adding veggies into a pasta dish?

 

It can be whatever you want- it’s important to eat something you enjoy even if you are eating nutrient dense food. This doesn’t mean you are dieting- it just means you are noticing your body asking for some nutrients- it’s to feel good in your body AND enjoy what you’re eating.

You can always consider nutrition and see what will feel good to you and that doesn't mean you have to be obsessive about getting a veggie in (or whatever it is) every meal or even everyday.

 

It’s allowing yourself to marry nutrient dense foods and pleasurable foods and not making either of them wrong when you eat it - it’s coming from a place of tuning into your body and really having the main intention of feeling good in your body.

 

2. It’s okay to PASS or say NO (check your intention)

Just because you now allow all food doesn’t mean you ALWAYS have to say yes to food (if you don’t want it- if you truly want it go right ahead!)

The point here is we now have the power - we actually can choose to say yes to the dessert or no to the dessert - not because of the diet mentality - because of our own body signals and logic.

If the dessert looks good but you know it wont make you feel good it’s okay to pass and take some home for later or the next day - it doesn’t mean you are dieting.

It means your body just doesn’t want it. It may sound delicious and taste delicious but that doesn’t mean it will feel good.

There is so much power in saying no - because now it’s about honoring your body- not giving all your power away to diet culture.

There is ALWAYS a choice - you can say yes. You can say no. Just check in from where that choice is coming from- if it’s a choice based off of feeling good in your body with the mindset that all food is allowed. You can bet it’s coming from a very healthy relationship with food - and that’s amazing.

 

3. Having BOTH!

You don’t ALWAYS have to eat ALL THE THINGS. Here’s a great way to help with that...

Pasta may sound amazing to you- and you may say to yourself, "just a big plate of pasta won't feel too great so I’m going to have pasta AND lots of fresh veggies or a nice fresh salad.

Maybe a pizza is going to really hit the spot but you know you’d like to add something else with that so you opt for pizza AND salad - you’ve realized when you just eat a bunch of pizza it doesn’t feel good (maybe sometimes it feels great) so you honor your body by checking in with your body while you eat the pizza and also enjoy the salad along with it.

Maybe it’s a chilly night and a nice bowl of soup with a bunch of veggies sounds awesome but you know that it needs something on the side to satisfy you. You decide to add fresh bread and butter to complete the meal!

And so on and so on… it can always be BOTH!

 

Do you see by opting in for both you can feel good in your body without feeling like you are just EATING EVERYTHING and feeling like crap? You tune in - consider nutrition / what will feel good while still allowing all food both mentally and physically.

 

REMEMBER: THIS IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE. Sometimes you’ll eat pizza without the salad and a big plate of pasta without the veggies and that’s okay!! Sometimes you’ll eat the cookie even when you’re full because they just look and smell so dang delicious.. And that’s okay!!

 

Perfection does not exist and there isn’t one way to be an UnDieter. There are no rules or meal plans to follow. It’s really getting to know you and your body. To learn it’s signals and find trust again.

To emphasize being an UnDieter doesn’t mean you just eat EVERYTHING all the time, just because it’s there. You check in with intentions, how your body feels, and you use logic - all things are considered - not a black and white rule because ultimately it’s YOUR CHOICE and when you make a choice you get to make a POWERFUL one, be okay with it and move on with life.

Want to add veggies in your week - great, be intentional and powerful with that choice!

Want to eat dessert - great, make that powerful choice and skip the judgement and shame.

Whatever you do or how you live your life is your decision and you are not a good or bad person for the choices that you make.

You live for you <3

Don't forget to grab your WORKSHEET here.

Talk soon!

Love, Lauren and Jenna

PS. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @thebodylovesociety, we offer coaching and tips and tools daily to make your journey to food and body freedom that much easier.

On today’s episode we are going to be talking about "is weight loss is bad?" The focus on Weight loss is the number 1 thing that women who embrace UnDieting have trouble giving up and it’s almost one of the most misunderstood topics in the UnDiet world.

We have a worksheet that you can download that goes along with this episode. It will help you with how to navigate desiring weight loss AND wanting to become an UnDieter. - You can grab it here.

NO. Weight loss is NOT bad, it’s also not “good”, it's just something that can happen. There's no morality tied to it.

What non diet people are always harping about isn't that weight loss is bad, it's that the pursuit of weight loss is harmful both mentally and physically and most people are actively pursuing this because we were told to!!

 

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO PURSUE WEIGHT LOSS?

  • Track food, calories, macros
  • Weighing yourself
  • Wanting something and not eating it because you are focusing on losing weight right now (usually pursuing weight loss is short lived)
  • You have a specific weight loss goal
  • Not listening to your body (not eating when you're hungry because it doesn't fit into your daily allotment etc)
  • Thinking about food WAY too often


Why is pursuing weight loss harmful?

The reason pursuing weight loss is harmful is because it doesn’t work (even though we are told by diet culture that it absolutely does work if you have the will power and right meal plan) - you have a 2% chance of losing weight and keeping it off (probably not with ease), and a 66% chance of ending up heavier than you started. Pursing weight loss also completely disconnects you from your body, your intuition, and gives you a messed up relationship with food and your body (hello obsession, all or nothing thinking, and binge eating!)

 

Why is it when you actually start to allow all food and not focus on weight loss you feel less “crazy”?

Because your body isn’t in restriction, so it doesn’t get into primal hunger which has you obsessing over food all day, you have a clear mind and you can listen to what your body is telling you. When you give it the cookie when it asks and give it the salad when it asks - your body starts to trust you and your nervous system relaxes. Your body knows when it gives a signal it will be heard and met.

 

That cannot happen when you only have weight loss on the brain.

And we still stand behind that weight loss isn’t bad - it's just not very effective or necessary to focus on it so much.

If you honored your cravings and body’s signals and happened to lose weight - that’s not wrong of you. Your body just happened to shift - and that also doesn’t mean you are now a worthy person.

Even if you do pursue weight loss, you’re not a bad person, you’re just more likely to end up heavier than you started and develop a poor relationship with food. Actions have results and this one just doesn’t seem worth it!

It’s also not wrong or bad to WANT to lose weight - you can still work on UnDieting and creating a balanced life that feels amazing without actively PURSUING weight loss even when you would like to be thinner in a perfect world.

 

What does it look like to UnDiet even if you would still like to lose weight?

  • Listen to your body, eating when hungry etc
  • Making choices based on how you want to feel instead of how you want to look (sometimes this means enjoying the dessert sometimes it means not eating it)
  • Not weighing yourself
  • No tracking, numbers etc
  • Repairing the dieting mindset so you CAN find natural balance
  • Not thinking about food much until you're hungry
  • Flexibility in eating, exercising etc WHILE still desiring to feel good in your body

We don't think body changes are good or bad. You can Lose weight - move on with life. Gain weight- move on with life. Stay the same- move on with life. Doesn't matter!

If you focus on feeling good in your body and let go of the focus on weight loss- you will feel free to live your life AND you can feel amazing. This might include weight loss, it might not and both are wonderful because you are living a life with a healthy relationship with food and your body and you feel GOOD!

Don't forget to grab your WORKSHEET here.

Talk soon!

Love, Jenna and Lauren

PS. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @thebodylovesociety, we offer coaching and tips and tools daily to make your journey to food and body freedom that much easier.

Compare and Despair 

 4 ways to stop comparison TODAY

Welcome to another episode of How to Love Your body- on today’s episode we are going to be talking about something that is a very natural thing for humans to do but really doesn’t feel great. We are talking about compare and despair… we’ll be sharing 4 ways to stop comparison TODAY.

We have a worksheet you can download at www.thebodylovesociety.com/68 

 

Have you ever been on social media and scrolled by a picture that made your heart drop?

That gave you an icky feeling of comparison?

Were you feeling pretty good and after you saw “the picture” you immediately went into spiraling thoughts about what you don’t have that you wish you did? 

 

This is a classic case of compare and despair- and don’t you worry this is a very normal human thing to do - especially in our new age of social media. We are able to see into way more people's lives than we ever have just by the tap of a phone screen or click on your laptop. It’s too easy! And it can be very overwhelming… 

This is why we want to address how you can redirect your thoughts of comparison! 

 

1. Lift the Story 

 

When you are comparing yourself to others you most likely are creating a story and making it mean something other than “what is” … 

For example - you scroll past a picture of someone that has a “better body than you” - instead of just seeing the photo for what it is “A woman posing in a picture in her bathing suit or that cute outfit” - you start spiralling and making it mean something personal about you …. 

“Ugh I hate my body, she looks so much better.”

“I’m such a failure, why can’t I look like that, I’ve tried so hard.” 

“No one will ever love me because of my body.” 

“If I don’t have a body like that I won’t get that job.” 

“I’m so disgusted with myself, why can’t I just lose weight.” 

“I would be so much happier with a body like that, this isn’t fair.” 

“I’ll never be able to wear a bathing suit at my vacation coming up because I don’t look like that, everyone will judge me, I’m so embarrassed.”

What would it be like if you “LIFTED THE STORY” and didn’t make it mean anything about you? 

All of the statements we just shared are just stories you have created. They aren’t real. 

You saw  a woman in a bathing suit. It doesn’t need to mean anything about you. 

 

2. I AM ME, THEY ARE THEM.

Separate yourself from the person you are comparing yourself to by saying…. “I am me and they are them.”

Her life has nothing to do with your life. It really doesn’t! 

We all co-exist AND that doesn’t mean that when someone else has something you don’t, means that you are lacking something in your life. 

If someone has a certain body, it doesn’t mean you have a bad body.

If someone is successful it doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. 

If someone has children, it doesn’t mean you never will. 

If someone just bought a home, it doesn’t mean you can’t. 

If someone has anything that you want, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have it too. 

You are never lacking, you are a whole and complete person no matter what your circumstances are. No person is better or worse. We are equal, we are all human. 

To quiet the noise - limit social media and unfollow triggers and then get out your journal and write down all the wonderful things you have in your life because sometimes we forget in comparison. 

 

3. DIFFERENT TIMELINES 

Of course there are a lot of body comparisons but what about comparisons in general … 

We all are living our separate lives with different timelines- could you imagine if EVERYONE on the planet was forced to do everything at the same time?

Go to college at the same time, graduate at the same time, date at the same time, get engaged at the same time, get married at the same time, have kids at the same time, take on a career opportunity at the same time, travel at the same time, buy a house at the same time etc…. 

That wouldn't be human- that would strip us of the opportunity to allow our lives to unfold however they unfold and be open to all the possibilities… because what if you don’t want to get married or have kids? What if you want to travel the world and build a business? Different timelines allow us to be free in what we actually want to do with our lives. 

If we could control our timelines and get what we wanted when we wanted life would be boring. We would miss out on so many things that actually shape us and grow us into who we are… 

Lifting the story and the meaning while separating yourself as an individual with your own timeline can do wonders when trapped in comparison! 

One more quick mindset hack you can use around comparison is called Freaky Friday and you can learn more about it in episode 15 “Heal your comparison-itis”. 

4. REFRAME 

Most likely if you are comparing yourself to someone, they are either comparing themselves to you or to someone else.

We all are just going in circles doing the same damn thing- comparing ourselves to others feeling like we are lacking something. 

What if this person was comparing their life to yours? That you had something they didn’t and they made it mean something about them? 

Would you think - “Yeah, that's right, you aren’t as good as me because I have something you want.” 

NO! You would probably think that you are no more special than they are and just because you have something they want doesn’t make them inferior. You would probably think that whatever you have they can have too. 

This is an important reframe because you realize how NOT TRUE the feelings are when we get stuck in comparison. 

You can see much better from the outside in - You see the other person has worthy and deserving. If you can do that so easily for someone else - why not yourself? 

We are all human, comparison is going to happen - it’s how we respond to it that will set us free. 

Remember to grab your worksheet at bit.ly/compareworksheet

You’ll be able to go through and process the 4 ways to stop comparison.

See you next week! 

Lauren and Jenna 

Ever wonder why Weight Watchers and other popular diets don't work?

You can go right to the podcast episode. LISTEN HERE.

This episode includes a free worksheet that you can grab here

We had an amazing conversation on our Instagram the other day. It was all about weight watchers and it started because a woman reached out to us and said she was a researcher for WW and wanted to know what intuitive eating means to those who subscribe to it. NOTE: They are clearly trying to coop intuitive eating language so they can seem like they’re teaching a healthy food relationship when in fact they are just selling another diet.

Women were sharing their WW (weight watchers) stories and the reason it was so powerful was because we were also receiving messages like this…

“While reading these comments and crying I finally understand that I’m not a failure!”

 

YES! We all have stories like these but we just don't share them enough so we think we’re all alone.

Here's just one of many stories we received...

 

IMYOTEb5vwen1ihpzwD-fkbkrr-Lr3cJDfI4nSK_

So why do we all have similar stories like this?

Stories like this are so predictable and common because diets cause our bodies to react in certain ways and our minds to get stuck in certain thought patterns - both of which that are NOT what you are looking for.

Physically, restriction (meaning not eating to satisfaction, not just eating what you THINK is enough) causes a lot of anguish

  1. Primal hunger
  2. Binge eating
  3. Preoccupation with food because your body thinks it’s in a famine!!

Mentally restriction causes a lot of problems as well.

This preoccupation with food distracts us from our lives and it ends up being all we’re thinking about!

We become anxious, obsessive, guilty and ashamed when we give in to it all, inevitably.

ANY program that limits food in any way - food group, calories, amounts etc. is a diet.

Always.

Every time.

No exceptions.

Diets such as:

Keto, whole 30 - these are pretty self explanatory, they limit food groups, simple enough.

But what about intermittent fasting, macros and WW ? These technically allow you to eat whatever you want. But do they? NO - there are always limitations.

And limitations mean diets.

So how CAN we identify a diet when it seems iffy?

(Many companies are adopting IE language so sometimes it genuinely can be tricky)

Signs to look out for:

  • Any mention of weighing or weight loss
  • Limitations around any certain foods, food groups, timing of eating., ANYTHING
  • Any talk around THIS being “the way”. There is absolutely nothing that works for everyone (other than listening to YOUR own body of course).
  • Any numbers - calories, weight, macros, etc
  • Mention of healing your relationship with food/ ending binge eating without talking about needing to stop restricting.

Lastly, the mindsets that these diets get you in is really what keeps you stuck in the cycle and making it HARD to get out.

 

These mindsets are:

1. All or nothing thinking

This is the mindset that gets us stuck in the cycle

  • Counting your points perfectly all week just to go crazy after your weigh in
  • Either you’re being perfect or saying screw it

How can we begin escaping this mindset?

Reflect daily on where you could have it all.

Could you go to the gym AND join your friends for pizza tonight still?

Could you have that salad but its ok to skip the gym, you're so tired!

Could you have a couple of your moms cookies and then move on with your day normally?

Beginning to see where you can create more ebb and flow in your daily life will move you towards being able to have it all and get out of the cycle for good.

2. Thinking of food as good or bad

This is what we were taught our whole lives.

So its totally normal to think this way but heres the thing...

Many of us think as more nutritious and less nutritious foods as good or bad but that brings morality into it.

You aren't good if you eat your veggies and bad if you have dessert but that is really how diet culture functions.

This brings guilt and shame into eating which leads to bingeing and the all or nothing cycle all over again.

How can we begin escaping this mindset?

Reflect on your language - do you say things like…

"I was so good today."

"Oh I’m being so bad tonight as you reach for another slice of pizza."

"I’m going to be good starting Monday."

Working on language can be very powerful, if we start speaking differently we will naturally begin to think differently.

Shift your language whenever you notice yourself speaking this way - you can say, "I’m going to eat another piece of pizza", "I ate a lot of nutritious foods today"…. Etc

 

3. Inflexibility/ rigidity

Being flexible is pretty much the foundation of intuitive eating and UnDieting.

But dieting is quite the opposite - its all about rigidity and inflexibility.

Hello meal plans, counting a certain amount of points every single day of your life.. No room for adjustments or variations. And when you do cross the very strict line?

Well screw it! May as well go crazy and start again on Monday.

We want to get out of rigid thinking and into flexibility!

How do we escape this rigid mindset?

When you feel something didn’t go as planned, you got too full or even binged, take a deep breath and ask yourself what the next best step is - not the knee jerk reaction of screw it but actually make a calm decision.This might take practice and as our "screw it" muscles can be very strong.

Get your free worksheet to go with this episode so you can work on getting away from these 3 mindsets and into a life of wellness without the obsession.

Talk soon!
Love, Lauren and Jenna

PS. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @thebodylovesociety, we offer coaching and tips and tools daily to make your journey to food and body freedom that much easier.

Normalizing Sh*t Days!

So you may be in the UnDiet World - getting into this Intuitive Eating thing. It may even feel freeing. You are so happy to be done with dieting and it’s exciting to be able to allow all food and not feel constantly judged, shamed, and guilted for the food you eat. 

There are so many perks to UnDieting and a lot of the time it feels so peaceful. You wonder why you didn’t find this earlier because you feel like you could have skipped out on a lot of suffering in the past with the diet days. 

You may even have found yourself in a groove - having good feelings around all of this-  tuning into your body and having wellness without the obsession- of course you are still learning so much and this is still very new to you but you know it feels right! 

And now we want to bring the human into all of this--- 

We want to let you know that there WILL be some hard days on this journey to fully embracing being an UnDieter. 

One day you may feel free and the next you may be completely blind sided by a binge. 

One day you may feel good in your body and in a place of acceptance and the next day you’re having a meltdown that your pants feel snug and the body image thoughts go spiraling!

One day you may feel completely calm around eating dessert after dinner and stopping when you’re satisfied and the next you’re judging yourself for wanting dessert every night and thinking it’s not okay!

 

We are here to tell you THIS IS NORMAL THIS IS HUMAN AND THIS IS TEMPORARY. 

 

When you have a hard day - here’s what to do:

 

  1. Don’t panic- you aren’t backsliding - you didn’t ruin anything. You aren’t a bad and horrible person. You simply are human who had a tough day and felt challenging emotions. THAT IS LIFE. Amazing feel good emotions and harder challenging emotions will always co-exist. You cant have light without the dark - so remember when you feel these harder emotions- tell yourself that it’s okay to not be okay. These feelings will pass.

  2. Learn from the experience! - Instead of judgement get curious- ask yourself questions. What was happening that day? Did anything trigger it? Have you truly been allowing all food or has there been some physical or mental restriction? You don’t need to find the answer- it’s just get curious instead of judging yourself. Allow the feelings, be gentle with yourself, and let them pass. 
  3. Allow the feelings- don’t react- Just because you had a bad day doesn’t mean you need to react with a game plan on what you’re going to do to “fix” this- you don’t need to plan a diet or any type of restriction. You don’t need to plan out a workout plan or tell yourself you’re going to do better in xyz categories… Just BE. Humans will do anything not to feel uncomfortable emotions. Allow yourself to feel and just be with them. Let them pass. No need to react.

  4. Get support in this area of your life - so you don’t let the overwhelming days take you down- if it’s talking to someone you trust or someone who is also UnDieting - a FB group ( we have one) or you could look into The UnDiet Academy- the doors are closed for now but if you are interested you can get on the waitlist so you are first to know when the doors open :) 

 

So remember - when you feel like there are really hard days/ moments/ feelings - or you really don’t like what happened (like a binge etc) know that this IS NORMAL - it’s part of the process.

Be sure to follow us on Instagram www.instagram.com/thebodylovesociety where you can get daily coaching - also send us a DM! We love hearing from you! 

Love, Lauren and Jenna 

Today on How to love your body we are talking about something that was brought up in The UnDiet Academy - what do you do if you don’t know WHAT you feel like eating??

"Something I’m having the most trouble with lately is knowing what I feel like eating, because I have difficulty tuning into what I actually want to eat. Sometimes I just dont eat at all or  I find myself asking what’s the “healthiest” option and after that question I just kind of give up, in an effort to stop labelling food, and I grab the quickest thing to eat (cereal, muesli bar) even if it’s not necessarily what I want."

 

This is a classic case of being too rigid with intuitive eating which then just turns it into another diet.

 

If your body is hungry, eat. It doesn’t matter if it’s not exactly what you want in this moment but choose from what is available, what sounds good and you think would feel good (note this doesn’t always mean the “healthy” option!). Cookies can feel amazing!

 

If you think you have to know exactly what you want in every moment, it’ll be too much pressure, too much perfectionism!

This is what lands us in situations where we go, screw it, ill eat whatevers easiest and move on.

 

Instead ask yourself these questions:

What COULD I have right now? 

Maybe its not realistic to leave the house right now, so whats in the fridge?

What of these options seems the most appealing right now?

Which would feel the best?

What is my body asking for?

 

Then you can choose something that will honor your body while it not having to be the PERFECT thing.

 When we get in food ruts-  this is a great thing to do (or when you go to the grocery store next) - we want you to open your eyes to choosing differently - choose things you have never tried before, what looks good, nutritious/ pleasurable- doesn’t matter. You may not even realize what you like - so it’s a time of exploration, curiosity, and figuring out what you truly like and not just what feels safe or coming from diet culture! 

 

 It’s easy to just pick a “go to food” because it’s what we know. It feels safe. 

 

You may not know what you want because you don’t even know what you like because there’s been so many dang rules. 

 

If there were no rules (there aren’t) - as if you forgot every diet rule there was out there - what would you choose to taste? To try? To explore? 

 

Maybe you freaking hate protein bars you just know it’s a safe easy food - Try a different one! See if it actually tastes good! 

 

SWITCH IT UP!!! 

 

Ex. I use to love these certain bars and protein cookies  ( they were a “cheat” in my mind) - once I started allowing food and I didn’t have to treat a protein bar like dessert and a protein cookie like a real cookie- I actually was able to taste them. 

 

I realized they didn’t taste as good as I thought. It doesn;t mean I’ll never eat these things ever again - it just means I was able to taste it for what it was. No some god like food and some cheat when it really wasn’t that amazing! 

 

We learned to explore food. To actually have likes and dislikes no matter what kind of food it was- I even have a preference on certain greens. I much rather have a kale salad than an arugula salad and I’d much rather have pizza than a bowl of pasta. I’ve learned preferences and likes and dislikes because of all the allowing and exploring! 

Go in with the intention of choosing new new new. That entire day - do things differently - driving to the store go a different way. If you always shower, take a bath etc… try it out! 

 

The doors are closed to The UnDiet Academy but get on the waitlist to be notified when the doors open again here bit.ly/undietwaitlist

Be sure to follow us on instagram for daily coaching at www.instagram.com/thebodylovesociety 

When your partner doesn’t understand intuitive eating or undieting

 

This is a common concern we get. 

Many partners are still in the diet world OR they have an easy relationship with food.

So they don’t get the struggle of trying to get OUT of the diet mentality.

 

The first step:

Knowing they don’t need to GET IT for it to be the right thing for you.

It is not your job to educate them on this or get their permission or support. 

I know it’s nice to have your partner be on board but that is just not always possible.

If they are genuinely asking questions (without judgement) there are absolutely things you can share with them including the cheatsheet you can download from this episode at www.thebodylovesociety.com/64

 

But if their questions seem judgemental, "Why did you buy so many cookies?", this can be a slippery slope to a difficult argument.

Someone who wants to keep their viewpoint will not be swayed otherwise. There is a really great video that shares about how arguing with someone makes believe their side even more strongly, if they aren’t wanting to truly learn about another perspective. That video is linked in the show notes.

 

Secondly if your partner is making comments about food and your body that are just not helpful in this journey you can set a boundary.

How to do this:

 

Sit down (or write something if that’s too awkward) and tell them what YOU need at this point.

After your partner has seen you dieting for years and years they may be a bit thrown off by this new and very different way of living. 

It can be confusing for them so you might need to set the stage for a new way. Seeing it from their perspective for a minute can be helpful - your partner might think they’re being helpful when they question the foods you’re buying etc because for the last 20 years you have been trying to avoid these foods. 

BUT it is still important to create a new understanding with your partner. 

 

I am really getting into learning more about intuitive eating and being an undieter, i know it may seem different than what ive done in the past. I dont know if you know this but dieting has left me feeling _________, this is what happens everytime i start a new diet _________ , they havent even worked and left me with a lot of messed up thoughts about food and my body….. Whatever is true for you. Being open and honest as much as you can.

 

Make an agreement (for the partners who dont get it or understand and who are choosing to not understand):

 

  • I’m trying this new way, this is what i know is best for me so lets keep all food and body talk out of our relationship.
  • This can obviously be amended and altered if the partner is getting into it or seeing the results of your food and body freedom.

 

 

As for the agreement: write down exactly what you need from them and then tell your partner.  Be specific as possible so they truly know where the lines are drawn.

What happens when your partner crosses these boundaries??

How does it make you feel?

Let them know this.

 

That being said - when you set boundaries people will want to test them. Be strong in what you need from them and call it out when lines are being crossed.

How do you reinforce boundaries when they're being crossed?

 

 

  • Remind them that food comments are not a part of your relationship and leave the room.
  • Don’t respond to the comment - don’t engage or give energy to it
  • Whatever else you feel is the best for you.

 

Be sure to download the cheatsheet if this is a conversation you want to have with your partner. This sheet will allow you to prepare and get your thoughts down before you chat with them.

You can grab it at www.thebodylovesociety.com/64

And be sure to follow us on instagram @thebodylovesociety, we offer coaching and tips and tools daily to make your journey to food and body freedom that much easier.

This episode is brought to you by our

FREE training coming up on Thursday July 18th at 12pm pacific - we’ll be giving you tools to help end binge eating and find wellness without the obsession. You can sign up for that by clicking HERE - bit.ly/undietfreetraining

 

I’ll just lose weight first then I’ll do intuitive eating...

This is a comment we get from quite a few women when they’re inquiring about The UnDiet and Intuitive Eating.

And we get it - it does seem to make sense to get to the size you want to be and then start listening to your body and then you’ll be free AND thin right??

Unfortunately that is not the way our minds or bodies work.

Getting deeper into the dieting mindset and the diet cycle by focusing on weight loss will never bring you to a place of balance. 

The only way to do this work is to stop what you’re doing now (even if youre not in your dream body), THEN you work on healing your relationship with food and your body.

THEN you find yourself in a place of balance and ease with food and wellness without the obsession.

It’s like when you’re dieting, you’re digging a hole and this logic of losing weight first is like continuing to dig in the hopes that you’ll pop out the other side, it does not work.

You have to put the shovel down and then start building a ladder out. 

Even if you do lose the weight that you want to lose, the destination will never be enough, there will always be something new to fix (im sure you’ve experienced that with weight loss before). Since it wont ever be enough you wont ever begin the journey of IE if you think you need to get your dream body, or even just lose weight first.

We do not promise weight loss or any body changes but this work also doesn’t mean you’ll never change.

You can still value your health, you can still exercise and eat nourishing foods, do all the things that matter to you without the strings of diet culture attached.

Just starting is the answer. Even if you’re scared, even if you’re not sure that you can accept this body you’re in at this moment. Even if you want to lose weight.

The only way to get out of the dieting madness is to start doing something else, now.

So if you are ready to begin (even if you’re scared) we encourage you to check out all of the details about The UnDiet Academy.

This is our 90 day program that gets you out of the diet cycle, away from binge eating, and into a life of wellness without the obsession.

To get all the details you can go to thebodylovesociety.com/undiet.

The doors are closing on Monday, July 22nd so be sure to have a look now!

On the page where you learn all about the program is a chat box that you can use to talk to us live if you have any questions at all.

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