Welcome to How to Love Your Body, today we are talking about what to do when we are worried about a friend or family member’s health issues and how we can address it.

 

You can grab your worksheet here bit.ly/undietsupport - so you can work through how to support your loved one in the best way possible. 

 

To start it off - get into your loved one’s shoes. If you had something going on with your health, what would you want from a loved one? 

 

Someone to listen to you?

Someone to support you in going to appointments?

Someone to love you unconditionally?

 

So would I.

 

But what we tend to dish out instead is:

 

Advice.

Unsolicited advice.

 

And we mean SO WELL but it’s really not what they need.

 

We have people reaching out sometimes and wondering “But I really love them shouldn’t I encourage them to eat healthier”?

 

Even if it’s not about weight - telling someone to “eat healthier” is rarely constructive. 

 

If your loved one has health issues going on that you feel are exacerbated by the way they eat, I promise their doctor has already brought it up, likely incessantly and if that hasn’t made a change, your comments won’t either.

 

We really hope that nobody tells you what to eat or how your body should look so we advise the same for US - their body, their business, our body, our business.

 

So how can you support a loved one having health troubles?

 

  • ASK them what you can do to help - don’t assume or give unsolicited advice
  • Be there to listen

 

That’s really all you need to do. 

Keep it simple and keep checking in with them if they need anything.

 

You can grab your worksheet to work through what is best to do for your loved one here bit.ly/undietsupport

 

See you next week!

5 mistakes people make going through the 5 phases

 

Welcome! This episode is brought to you by The UnDiet Academy starting August 4th 2020. Learn more about our program here - www.thebodylovesociety.com/undiet 

 

Phase 1: The Initial Exit

 

Mistake: They’re starting here and can easily get stuck in consuming INFORMATION but never moving forward with actual transformation.

Phase 2: The Diet Mentality Detox 

 

Mistake: Still having that tiny voice in the back of their head focusing on weight loss/ weight gain instead of focusing on how their body feels.

Phase 3: The Inner Self Work 

 

Mistake: Thinking they need to love themselves and their body all the time but really - starting with body neutrality (or staying here) is much more helpful etc - body love isn't about the way your body looks.

Phase 4: Embodying Intuitive Eating 

 

Mistake: Allowing all food physically but not mentally ALSO - focusing majorly on eating when you’re hungry, “mindful eating”, avoiding emotional/ boredom eating.

Phase 5: Wellness without the obsession 

 

Mistake: You second guess yourself and think that when your body asks for a salad, veggies, or something considered “healthy,” it means you’re dieting again- you second guess your intuition because you don’t believe you could actually choose the salad because you actually want it - because salad is something you forced yourself to have in the past as a dieter, you’re hesitant if you’re actually transforming your relationship with food or if it’s just a trick.

 

We would love to support you in avoiding these pit falls in The UnDiet Academy which is open right now and closes August 4th.

 

To share a little bit about the program - this is our most comprehensive program that we offer, it is 3 months of going through the 5 phases of undieting with us and a small group of women on the same journey.

 

It includes weekly video lessons and worksheets that get straight to the heart of each phase so that you aren’t wasting your time on anything unnecessary. You will receive daily coaching and support from both of us in the private facebook group for the entire program as well as being able to see the questions that other women ask -- this can often provide some HUGE ah-has from seeing the answers to questions you didnt even think of asking.

 

This group element makes this program stronger than many 1 on 1 options and its also more affordable. Win Win!

 

We are also including weekly live coaching sessions where your personal questions will be answered - you can watch live and interact or you can tune into the replay to get the answers to your questions as we move through this work together.

 

To get more info about the Academy take a look at www.thebodylovesociety.com/undiet

 

We also wanted to let you know about a coupon code we are offering for $100 off until Friday July 31st, the code is undiet2020 - use this with either the pay in full or the payment plan and get the discount instantly.

 

This week on How to Love Your Body we are diving HEAD ON to what we know is the #1 fear in UnDieting and that is weight gain.

 

It doesn’t matter when or where we ask, almost every woman’s concern and fear is weight gain or another body composition worry which is all the same thing in the end.

 

Before we get into our conversation today we want to share with you a resource we created to DEEP DIVE into this fear called the “Weight Gain WTF” video series. The series begins Monday July 27th so be sure to sign up before then to receive all 5 videos. This series is only happening July 27th - July 31st 2020. Go to bit.ly/weightgainwtf

 

As we talk about the fear of weight gain you may be thinking YES this is the biggest thing holding me back OR you might be thinking no that’s not my biggest fear it’s actually:

  • Eating too much
  • Never stop eating
  • Being unhealthy

 

We get that, those are other fears that people have but at the root, these fears are based on weight as well.

 

Here’s why:

 

Any food fear is really about what we believe food DOES to our body. Really be honest with yourself right now - if you do have a food fear, eating fear - would you be worried about food at all if it never affected the way your body looks?

 

We both know the answer is no. :)

 

As for the health concern - there may be the rare person who has a medical issue that they are genuinely worried about when it comes to letting go of food rules etc BUT contemplate this as well - if your internal health remains intact but you gain weight is that 100% good with you?

 

We find when people are concerned about food or “health” it usually equals a weight concern.

 

But here’s the thing - that is SO NORMAL and expected.

The root of dieting is a weight obsession - an obsession with losing it and an obsession with avoiding gaining it, so when you’ve come from that line of thinking for decades OF COURSE that is going to be the main concern.

 

It’s not vanity, it’s not self centered - it’s what we’ve been taught. That weight loss equals success, beauty and acceptance and weight gain equals shame, embarrassment and failure. So YES we are going to be preoccupied with our weight.

 

But it’s time for this to end. The fear of weight gain has run our lives for way too long.

 

It affects everything - the way we eat, exercise, socialize, our relationships, careers - everything!

 

Especially as women we have been so distracted in changing our bodies its taken vital time and energy away from us to be able to change the world!

 

And this truly is a societal issue that needs healing - and that healing starts with us individually finding peace in our bodies and at whatever weight our bodies want to be.

 

We know it might seem like your healing wont make a difference in this world but it will. Imagine if 50% of women healed their relationship with weight and their bodies. Imagine the industries that would change over night - pretty much anything that is sold to women to “fix” them would have to rework how they do business. Think: diet pills, diet programs, WW, Myfitnesspal app, cellulite creams and even makeup. All of these things are developed and sold to cure an insecurity that we can heal from!

 

YOU will make a difference in our world by healing so this isn't just about you anymore, being at peace in your body will affect your children, mother, friends and loved ones in an impactful way. 

 

We hope this gives you inspiration to PUSH THROUGH the fear and actively work on healing it so you can finally move on with your life and begin experiencing wellness without the obsession.

To push through the fear be sure to grab our 5 day Weight Gain WTF video series starting Monday July 27th. Go to bit.ly/weightgainwtf

July 21, 2020

Ep 115 - Body Trust

On this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body we are diving into Body Trust.

 

But before we start - this episode is brought to you by our free UnDiet masterclass happening this week on Tuesday July 21st and Thursday July 23rd.

 

Grab your spot to learn the 3 ingredients you need to become an intuitive eater and find wellness without the obsession - get on with us live and we will be answering questions and coaching you through these key ingredients. Grab your free spot at bit.ly/undietmasterclass

 

Body trust is a huge part of UnDieting and it is something that dieting teaches out of us.

 

We’ll start with what body trust is, body trust is when we drop all of the rules, shoulds and cants and simply listen to your body's signals and respond to them without doubt or questioning.

 

It’s one thing to know when you’re hungry and think to yourself - I cant possibly be hungry I just ate, is this real hunger? Maybe im just bored, I’ll wait 20 more minutes and if I still feel hungry I’ll have something. Its another to know youre hungry and just go eat.

 

This is rare, most people do not trust their bodies even when they are starting to prioritize listening to its signals. 

This is because the message of diet culture is:

Don’t trust your body, you will go out of control if you don’t implement rules and follow meal plans and programs.

 

You will eat and eat and never stop if you don’t control yourself.

 

So of course we live in fear with food and it results in living a life of “wellness” out of fear and that only leads to a lifestyle of stress, being on and off the wagon with very little enjoyment.

 

NO matter how healthy that life looks on paper - we MUST consider the whole experience, the mental, physical and experience of your life.

 

THIS is where body trust comes in.

 

Without it, things are rigid, controlled and encompasses the all or nothing mentality.

 

When body trust is introduced we can become flexible and live a life of wellness without the obsession.

 

It can be scary to begin to listen to and truly honor our body’s signals but in order to find that balance and wellness without the obsession it is such an important element.

 

Here are 3 things you can do to begin developing body trust:

 

  • If you notice you sit and debate with your body signals often - Am I really hungry? Is this genuine hunger? How long since I ate last? - stop and go eat. At least some of the time begin to just trust the signal and tap into what feels best to eat at that moment, what is your body asking for?

Remember: being overly concerned if you are REALLY hungry or if its emotional eating, boredom eating etc is a part of the diet mentality, you wouldn’t keep eating if you were unsure if you were full or not - I didn’t eat much I couldn’t possibly be full, I’ll keep eating just incase. Why is this? It is because in diet culture we are taught that less food is always better so we lean towards questioning our hunger but rarely question our fullness.

 

  • Shift fear to curiosity -- when you do begin to listen to your body signals it can be scary and our old diet thoughts may pop up (am i eating too much? Should i be having that? ) but shifting this to curiosity will make all the difference.

Instead think - maybe this is how much I need? Maybe I havent eaten enough carbs in the past and now my body is asking for more! I wonder what will happen long term when I truly honor my body’s signals..

 

  • Question everything! When we live in the diet mentality we think in a particular way and it goes unquestioned. We rarely look at if our thoughts are true, we assume that what we think is real but with diet thinking it rarely is!

Question the thoughts and fears that come up ask yourself -  is this true?

 

If it’s a diet thought it often isn’t. For instance - I shouldnt be hungry because I just had breakfast a couple hours ago. Is that true? You shouldnt be? How do you know? -- if the answer is a food rule you once took on then it isnt true!

 

There is a lot more to body trust of course but this is a great place to start.

 

A next great step is our live masterclass this week Tues July 21st (Tonight) and also Thursday July 23rd.

 

We will be coaching you through the 3 ingredients you need in order to become an intuitive eater and find wellness without the obsession, this is a live masterclass so you can ask questions and we will interact as we go over each ingredient together.

 

You can grab your spot at bit.ly/undietmasterclass

 

See you there!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are talking about The Diet Mentality Detox - this is the second phase in UnDieting (there are 5) - a very vital step ( as they all are) but to really detox of the diet mentality and think in a different way is a life changing phase in this UnDiet process - if you want to learn more about all 5 UnDiet phases you can go back to episode 76. 

Before we share about what the diet mentality detox really is and a few steps on how you can get started - this episode is brought to you by our free upcoming masterclass called The 3 Ingredients you need to become an Intuitive Eater and find Wellness without the Obsession. 

We have 2 dates (July 21 & 23) and times you can choose from - you can find the link in the show notes to save your spot or bit.ly/undietmasterclass

Okay - let’s dive in. 

What is The Diet Mentality Detox? 

This is all about rewiring your brain - your words, thoughts, and beliefs around diet culture. 

It’s about changing the way you think FIRST so you can make food choices from your intuition, how your body feels, what sounds satisfying, your preferences. - not from a place of “good” and “bad” food, what’s the “healthiest”, the least amount of cals, what will help me lose weight etc… that’s just the diet mentality speaking. 

When we can change the way we think, it automatically changes the way we act without always having to put massive amounts of effort in (for example - to resist or distract yourself from bingeing, which is not a long term approach to healing - you can instead rewire the way you think so that binge eating doesn’t even occur to you, The urge is healed so there isn't anything to put effort into, you just get to be free and start to feel that peace and have the freedom you hear about in this UnDiet world.

When you unlearn the diet mentality and rebuild your thinking with the UnDiet approach it allows you toI make choices around the way you move that stem from what you enjoy and what feels good. - not from a place of punishment, force, to burn off what you ate, for weight loss focus - again that’s just the diet mentality speaking. 

When you create a new foundation and intentions around why you move - ex. Mental health and to feel good that’s when you start to create a healthy relationship with movement. 

It’s also about shifting the way you think and speak about your body - you are always thinking, and for dieters much of that inner dialogue is critical, judgmental and harsh, surrounding not only our bodies, what we eat but also our self worth and self esteem. 

It is in rewiring our thinking that will lessen this internal dialogue leaving you less likely to use food and movement as punishment and an emotional response to that internal conflict and more likely to have food and movement take its rightful place IN your life instead of it ruling your life. 

Do you see how the narrative changes when you detox from the diet mentality? 

It creates a new world that feels good - you dismantle diet culture and introduce yourself into the wonderful world of UnDieting. 

Here are a few things you can do to get started with The Diet Mentality Detox 

 

  • Clear your online space of diet culture 

 

You have probability heard us share this many times if you’ve been listening to our podcast but here’s a great way to get started - and if you’ve already done this it will be great to do a little refresher and tidy up a bit! 

Clearing your space means to get rid of anything that relates to diet culture - a great place to start is with your social media. Unfollow anyone who spews diet culture and doesn't make you feel good/ inspired - and then Follow accounts that are a part of the body positive movement, different bodies, intuitive eating accounts etc - if it makes you feel good, then surround yourself with that! 

If you’ve never done this before - this will be such an energetic shift in your online space! If you’ve already done this - do a little looky lou to see if you still have a social media account that is incorporating any kind of diet culture - it can be sneaky!! 

 

  • Become aware of all or nothing thinking 

 

This type of thinking you may be familiar with - it’s the “no inbetween land” - you either say no to the pizza or eat the entire pizza - you either don’t move your body for a month or you move your body everyday until you burn out. It’s not allowing yourself dessert during the week and then binge on the weekend. You live in a world where diet culture fuels your thoughts with extreme ways of using food and movement. 

So how to dismantle this - the first step is becoming aware of your thoughts - so this week - when you are making food choices/ movement choices - see if you can spot any all or nothing thinking - if you do, ask yourself how you can find more of a balanced thought. Where can you find the grey area? Ex. can you still eat the pizza and add a fresh salad to it instead of only eating the salad or only binging on it? 

This isn’t about being perfect - this is about becoming aware of your thoughts and how you can start to shift them- it’s spotting the diet mentality and choosing to do it differently. It takes practice. There is no timeline. There is no failing. 

 

  • Save your spot in our free masterclass 

 

As mentioned in the beginning of this episode we will be holding a free masterclass on July 21 and 23 called The 3 Ingredients to become an Intuitive Eater and find Wellness without the Obsession. This will be a great step forward in Detoxing the Diet Mentality as that is the center focus on this masterclass. You’ll learn all the ingredients and you’ll be able to incorporate them into your current life to keep healing and improving in this work as an UnDieter. 

So to reiterate - action steps to detox the diet mentality: 

-Clear your online space of diet culture
-Spot when you are using all or nothing thinking and see where you can find the grey area
-Save your spot in our free masterclass at bit.ly/undietmasterclass

Today's episode is brought to you by our free 5 day UnDiet Mindset Boost- this is a 5 day opportunity for you to boost your mindset around undieting and do the important work of changing the way you think.

It will be based on today’s episode and you can get it at bit.ly/undietboost

5 Major Philosophies of UnDieting 

Shifting your thoughts about food and your body from the way you look to the way you feel. 

There are some obvious things that you may have shifted already - not counting calories anymore, not on an actual diet, beginning the process of eating intuitively and listening to your body signals instead of food rules but there are SO many ways of thinking that need to change that sometimes we cant even see 

Being overly concerned with emotional eating, overeating, making sure you’re ACTUALLY hungry when you eat etc are all markers of some old beliefs coming up. Would you be so worried about these things if food didn’t affect your weight? If you could eat anything, anytime and you would look the same forever would you be that concerned? Would it be a big deal if you ate because you were bored or because you were physically hungry? Probably not - this shows that some of your actions are still rooted in the way your body looks.

And it can sound extreme but overhauling the way you think entirely is the way to freedom and ironically, balance. 

When your thinking changes you are able handle food with ease because it’s just food, it’s not so intertwined with looks, weight, worth and so many other things that diet culture ties food into.

Separating weight and wellness. 

A main concern people have is that if they UnDiet they won’t be healthy. But the truth is the diet cycle is very hard on your body and mental health. 

The key of this work is separating wellness from weight, they are not the same thing.

While you shift away from a focus on weight this does not mean shifting away from wellness, it actually means FINALLY introducing true wellness into your life. 

As you move along on this journey, when thoughts of “I’ll feel better if I lose weight” or “I need to lose weight for my health” come up, take a breath and ask yourself, what can I do to feel better now, what can I do to improve my wellness at this moment.

Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating enough? Are you wanting to eat more vegetables? Are you wanting to continue building a healthier body image? Are you wanting to move your body more often? 

GREAT! And none of that needs to affect your weight for it to benefit your health. 

An important goal of UnDieting is inner peace.

When you’ve been dieting for 10 - 30 years the goal is always to look different, to be thinner and to have various physical results. 

This is what we’ve thought would change everything for us, and of course we thought that - thats what diet culture told us but to be honest a physical result will not be life changing, and definitely not a long term solution.

The 1 thing that will make a life changing difference is inner peace. This means acceptance of your body and self unconditionally. 

You might be thinking, but HOW!? We know its not a quick journey but its possible and so worth it. 

Imagine waking up every morning without the thought “I need to change my body”, Ive been so bad I have to start again on Monday, and the constant stress over your weight. Just simply LIVING and being you and that is enough -and yes you can absolutely care about your health, feeling good and growing as a person at the same time.

Self Empowerment

This is about YOU figuring out what works for you instead of someone telling you what to do (when there are rules, it can never be a lifelong change)

UnDieting is unlearning all the rules and BS that you were taught before and to get back in touch with YOUR wisdom about your own body, what it needs and wants and how you feel. You are the expert on your own body and its time to realize that and embrace your power. 

Rewiring Your Brain

The brain is a habitual creature , when we think one way it’s easiest to just keep thinking that way. Body hate, food stress, weight obsession - it all becomes second nature and just the natural way we think so to change that seems impossible - this is just the way we are! But that isn’t true, this way of thinking was learned and it can be unlearned and replaced with a more natural and compassionate way of thinking. 

Body acceptance, intuitive eating and UnDiet thinking can all become second nature, so its natural and easy.

You can dive deeper into internalizing these philosophies by joining our free 5 day undiet mindset boost at bit.ly/undietboost

See you next week!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are going to be talking about body checking. 

Before we dive in - we wanted to remind you that the 21 Day Body Image Intensive is closing Today - EOD - June 30th. We’ve been getting great feedback from women who have been currently taking the intensive.

If you want to dive deeper into healing body image this intensive is for you. Go to www.thebodylovesociety.com/bodyimage to get started on day 1. 50% of the proceeds are going to The Loveland Foundation, an amazing cause we are passionate about as it’s all about mental health. 

Okay so. Body checking.

First, what is it? 

An obsessive behavior in which one focuses on a certain body part/s while looking in the mirror/ at their reflection multiple times a day.

Behaviors include: 

 

  • Looking in the mirror multiple times a day checking the size of x body part. 
  • Obsessively weighing yourself 
  • Obsessively taking measurements of your body 
  • Constantly focusing on how your clothes fit/ feel tight etc 
  • Always comparing your body shape to another’s 

  • Checking your reflection in places other than the mirror 

 

Body checking could be something that is on your mind A LOT throughout the day, everyday. 

Now that you know what body checking is - you may now be aware of how much energy goes into this and how much attention it takes away from your daily life. When your mind is ruminating it truly does feel like there is no room for anything else in your life and let’s be honest we don’t want our lives to ONLY be about our bodies and how they look. 

One of the things that we really dive into when working on body image is mindset but one of the best tangible things you can do to improve body image is STOP body checking!! 

When you commit yourself to purposely not body checking you’ll see how much clearer and peaceful your mind becomes - how much energy you save to think about other things that actually matter to you. 

We are not making you wrong or bad for body checking nor do we want to make you feel bad for putting so much energy into it - we did this ALL the time! Food and body took up our thoughts 24/7, so we get it! 

We want to support you in freeing yourself! 

Here’s an activity to do if you choose to accept! 

Of course we want this to go beyond a day but for the sake of the activity- For one FULL day - No body checking - this means no mirrors, no looking at your reflection, no zero-ing in on body parts and judging them.

Bad body image days are created in our minds - it's our thoughts that make it so hard! So in order to keep your mind from creating all the mean thoughts about yourself - simply do not give energy to them.

Avoiding the mirror and choosing not to body check will give your mind a break. It won't trigger all the thoughts that come along with the tough body image days.

When you notice yourself wanting to look in the mirror to see how your arms look in your shirt or what your legs look like in those pants or wanting to assess your body to see if you approve or disapprove of it - let that be a signal to tell yourself....

"I really want to body check right now and I am choosing not to. I know this is the self honoring choice right now. Instead of berating my body I am going to not give attention to those thoughts."

At the end of the day - reflect on how it was to not body check. Did it make a difference in your thoughts about your body? Did it seem helpful? How did not body checking serve your highest good? Is this something you will do daily?

You can also reflect on what you feel body checking gives you? You wouldn’t do it if there wasn’t some sort of pay off. Does it feel like you have more control over your body if you're always looking it over? When you feel the urge to body check remind yourself of the real reason you’re doing it - one that isn’t helping you build a healthy body image.

If this activity seems helpful to you - take it on! 

Also, consider taking on the 21 Day Body Image Intensive! For 21 days you’ll get support with tangible activities like the one above and mindset activities to help you really dig deep and transform the way you think and feel about your body. 

You can get started by going to www.thebodylovesociety.com/bodyimage 

Doors close by the end of the day today (June 30th, 2020)! It’s only $21 for 21 days + an added bonus that you will be helping an amazing foundation.

Welcome to How to Love Your Body on today’s episode we are talking about beauty, particularly conventional beauty and where it fits into the work of UnDieting and removing ourselves from diet culture.

Yes - the beauty industry, makeup, hair etc is another multi billion dollar industry that preys on low self esteem and the need to look a certain way.

Being aware of this is important - if the political side of this work is important to you, the best thing you can do is vote with your dollar, do not give money to these kinds of industries… and you’re also a grown woman who gets to choose what is best for HER!

The first step is being aware of the insidious side of the beauty industry - did you know cellulite as a negative body feature was made up by the beauty industry so they could then sell you a product to fix something that you never had a problem with… until they said it was a problem?

Take a step back and see if everything you buy and buy into is something you want to be a part of, cellulite creams, waist trainers, spanx, these things were developed so you could fit into a mould - and so is mascara, cover up and curling irons but we can choose where we draw the line for ourselves as individuals, there is no right or wrong answer here.

I do make it a point to not buy into supposedly body changing items like waist trainers and cellulite creams because of the work we do - if I try to look more like the diet culture mould I am not helping anyone else accept themselves and that is an important part of this work TO ME. It does not mean it has to be for you.

When becoming an UnDieter we are not saying - you now have to become an advocate and dive into the politics of body acceptance, fat acceptance and fighting against the patriarchy!!!

It is important work but we know it isn't for everyone.

What are you passionate about and where do you draw your line?

Wherever that is, it does not matter, just make sure its what you really want. 

I have my eyebrows microbladed, I want to get hair extensions this year, I wear makeup when I go to events and I like to wear conventional female clothing…

These are not things I feel I need to boycott to live this life or to help others find food freedom either.

Where is your line?

Do you want to avoid shape wear and try to practice some more body acceptance?

Do you want to wear makeup less often?

Do you want to stop buying anti aging creams ?

Cool! Don't want to do those things? That's fine too. We just encourage you to take a closer look before you decide.

Are you afraid of leaving the house without your hair and makeup fully done?

Are you afraid of what people will think of you if you arrived somewhere without spanx?

Living in fear isn’t making a choice, it’s being forced into a choice…

And we want genuine freedom for you!

You can grab your free worksheet to explore the different elements of beauty and decide where you are going to draw your line in the sand - once you’ve taken a closer look and decided what you’re okay with and what you are not, you can live a life of freedom in every aspect!! Get it at www.thebodylovesociety.com/111

And remember: you can become an UnDieter and just be the same wonderful you who loves makeup and hair products but who also has freedom around food and realized their self worth doesn’t come from those beauty products!

Please take a minute today to rate and review the podcast so other women can discover the world of UnDieting too!

Welcome to this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body 

The terms body love, body neutrality and body positivity along with Body acceptance and body image all get tossed around a lot in this work and many use them interchangeably but all of these things are different.

Today we are going to talk about the differences, what they mean for your journey and what to focus on in this phase of your journey.

Let’s start with body positivity:

This one is unlike the others. Body positivity is a social movement, it has its roots in the fat acceptance movement. It works along side racial justice, trans and queer inclusive, and disability movements. So when people ask, why is body positivity so political ? This is why - it IS, it’s a political movement. 

The other terms we are talking about are more about the individual - and likely what many are talking about on their platforms when they use the term body positivity.

Most people - even publications use these terms incorrectly. Take this article title for instance “ Forget body positivity: How about body neutrality?” This doesn’t make sense - body positivity is a movement and body neutrality is an individual experience of one’s body.

Let’s dive into Body Neutrality, it is usually the first step for people on their journey out of the diet mentality and into a healthier relationship with food and their bodies. 

Body Neutrality empowers you to embrace yourself as you are, including the parts you don’t like about yourself. This means avoiding self hate but also being ok not liking the way you look all the time. It's about respect and acceptance.

The power in body neutrality is that you don’t have to lie to yourself, bypass the emotional work and just pretend to love your body - you can work on slowly becoming okay with who you are as you move along in your journey.

An example of body neutrality is to turn your thoughts from negative “I hate the way my arms look”, to factual and objective thoughts. “I have arms that allow me to hug my loved ones”. 

Next up is body love - Obviously this one is one of our favorites since our community is called THe Body Love Society and our podcast is How to Love Your Body.

Body Love is important to clarify here - we never mean you love the way your body LOOKS - because honestly this work has nothing to do with the way your body looks but we do hope you can get to a place of loving your body.

Loving your body the way you love a loved one - by being forgiving, compassionate and gentle. It might annoy you at times and you don't love every little thing about it (just like with our loved ones), but overall you respect and are on your body’s side.

Body Love involves loving it NO MATTER WHAT happens. Gain weight, lose weight or stay the same - The love is still there. That is why it isn't about the way your body looks - we often hear from women that they started to be ok with and even love their bodies again but now they've gained weight and it’s all gone to hell!

It’s so important to begin cultivating unconditional love for your body - really this just means being on the same side as your body, working together to feel your best, through any ups and downs that might occur. 

Before we wrap it up today there is one more we’ll throw in that is just so important and that is body trust.

Body trust is an aspect of body love. Meaning you relinquish control over to your body to handle itself. Trusting your body means you no longer have to micromanage the way you eat or look - you know that your body has got your back and if you just listen to it, it’ll take care of you. 

Without body trust you cannot love your body, just like in a personal relationship - if you have to micromanage and control someone, it is not going to be a healthy relationship.

To begin working on body trust - begin slowly letting go of things that exert control over your body - still measuring food? Weighing yourself? Tracking what you eat? Benign very rigid in your workout routine? All of these things tell your body you don't trust it.

As you continue to heal your relationship with your body, building from body hate to body neutrality to body trust and love - know that it’s ok that it might feel hard. This work is going against everything you’ve been taught your whole life. 

To get support as you move forward our 21 Day Body Image Intensive is a great option. We give you daily journaling activities and action steps to take to tangibly build up from body neutrality to body love for only $21.

Just sitting there and hoping one day you’ll love your body after years of trying to shrink it and control it will be a long and bumpy road - but taking confident action each day in the body image intensive will get you moving along on the path towards a healthy relationship with both food and your body.

You can learn more about the intensive and The Loveland Foundation which 50% of the proceeds from the program go towards at thebodylovesociety.com/bodyimage 

On today’s episode we will be discussing what body image is,and how to improve it.

We will also be sharing about The Loveland Foundation, what it is and how you can help contribute while also improving your own body image.

So let’s dive in:

What is body image?

The dictionary definition is “an intellectual or idealized image of what one's body is or should be like”.

Both the words idealized and should hold the power of diet culture. Our ideas of what the ideal body is and what it SHOULD look like come directly from the message that thinner is better and all of the damaging self criticisms that come along with the diet mentality.

Body image has much less to do with the way your body looks and much more to do with your thoughts and judgements around what it SHOULD be and what is good or bad in a body.

The way to heal your body image is to transform these thoughts and judgements into ones of acceptance and flexibility.

Accepting your body does not mean liking the way it looks all the time - it means letting go of the idea that it SHOULD be a specific way. The pain that shoulds cause us isnt real - the minute you dont have that thought, the pain goes away. This is why mindset is so important. 

Here are 3 main thing to focus on when it comes to healing your body image:

 

  • Let go of all shoulds and shouldnts. These will only ever leave us dissatisfied and discontent.
  • Allow for flexibility - your body will change over your lifetime, it is inevitable. Allowing for that gives you freedom no matter how your body changes. 
  • Work on being ENOUGH as you are right now. The number one thing we hear when women do lose weight is - it was never enough. There are always flaws that need fixing and things that need changing - ALWAYS. 

 

Drop the shoulds, allow for change and find enoughness where you are right now.

NOTE: The question we will inevitably get from this is -- isnt that complacency, isn’t it good to practice self improvement. Sure! But how about using that energy to work on things that matter instead of trying to appease society’s oppression of your body? You can still choose to work on practicing positive health behaviors like getting enough sleep, eating a variety of foods, becoming an intuitive eater, moving your body. And all of that can be achieved while finding a healthy body image, resulting in both a positive change in physical and mental health.

We’d now like to share the Loveland Foundation with you.  We will be supporting this foundation through our 21 Day Body Image Intensive program that is open today.

The Body Image Intensive is a 21 day process you can go through where each day you will have a journal prompt or an activity to do to improve your body image. 

The intensive is $21 and 50% of proceeds will be going to the foundation.

The Loveland Foundation was established in 2018 by Rachel Cargle in response to her widely successful birthday wish fundraiser, Therapy for Black Women and Girls. Her enthusiastic social media community raised over $250,000, which made it possible for Black women and girls nationally to receive therapy support. Black women and girls deserve access to healing, and that healing will impact generations.

The Loveland Foundation is the official continuation of this effort to bring opportunity and healing to communities of color, and especially to Black women and girls. Through fellowships, residency programs, listening tours, and more, ultimately they hope to contribute to both the empowerment and the liberation of the communities they serve.

To learn more about the intensive you can go to thebodylovesociety.com/bodyimage and to learn more about The Loveland Foundation you can visit www.thelovelandfoundation.org

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